Outlines

Blogger is boring but does Wordpress equal stress? Update

2007-11-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

Update 12/12/07 While I wouldn't say Wordpress and I are on first name terms yet, I'm staying there. Insha Allah there will be no more posts on this blog.

All new material will be at:

http://getoutlines.wordpress.com

So, I have moved to Wordpress as it's rather fancy and stuff.

However, I have just completed a post on there and it involved frowning a lot and trying not to swear. So I may return to Blogger as I am weirdly picky about tech things.

Until then:

Click the link for your Mittwoch dose of more of the same.

Update18/11/07: I've done two more posts there and it is still annoying me. My forehead hurts from frowning. I usually use Mozilla and spit on IE, but does Wordpress work better in IE? Any hints?

When Fox defended the Dog

2007-11-07T14:46:00.000-08:00

As I have stated before, my favourite brand of brain dead tv was Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Cheesy and ludicrous it may be but it was always so watchable.

Until:

Audiotape of Chapman using racial slur

Some people seem to have a problem with this concept, but to most it is obvious: there are some words you do not say.

White people do not get to say the n-word. They don't. It's an offensive, horrible word used with one intention only : to demean someone on the basis of colour.

There are other terms like this, some are considered 'reclaimed words' by members of that community, but it still remains that unless you are part of that community, you do not and cannot use those terms.

Much has been made of this being a tape recording of a private conversation. Maybe, but the views expressed in that conversation will be abhorrent to many.

Now Dog is sorry. So he's visiting lots of black people to wash away his guilt, so they can say he's not a bad person, he didn't mean it and he can get his job back. It would be good if he could really see why he was wrong, not just that he lost his job.

Predictably, Fox News have been defending him, saying that the use of the n-word is "equivalent to cursing". Ridiculous.

Some might ask why such a big fuss is caused by the actions of a minor celebrity. Maybe because it is another reminder of what a racist society we live in, that people might be polite to your face, but will still use the lowest kind of insults in private. Scraps of 'tolerance' instead of a diet of acceptance.

In private or in public, racism and prejudice should be fought, or they will contaminate everything they come into contact with, including our very souls.

Apples do not exist

2007-11-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Neither do practicing Muslims who are active and positive members of society. Muslims are either totally assimilated and vaguely nominal Muslims or Jihadist. Nothing else.

Such prejudices will not have been altered by the second installment of Britz, which focused on Nasima, the female character. There was so much wrong with this show. It would take a massive post to list it all, so I will summarise.

We are introduced to Nasima as a typically ordinary girl. A bubbly medical student with a passion for politics. We see her praying with her family (although she doesn't cover her hair properly during salah, the first of many inconsistencies).

Sadly, our insight into her religious beliefs and motivations pretty much ends there. For a drama supposedly about Muslims there is actually very little about Islam.

It was just completely unconvincing.

Nasima's best friend is arrested, imprisoned and release under a control order, despite not being involved in any illegal activity. She subsequently commits suicide.

After this Nasima attends a student meeting for Muslims, where she is told that Jihad is the duty of all Muslims, even women and that nothing else will help to end the war in Iraq e.t.c. In fact, the women are told that they could make excellent jihadists as they are less likely to be detected.

Meanwhile, Nasima still fits in the time for a non-Muslim boyfriend. In one of the most unrealistic scenes (and there were many), she tells her boyfriend he doesn't understand, because he's not Muslim, then proceeds to kiss him, just after he drank some beer and they sleep together. Because that's the behaviour of a committed Muslim. *Eye roll*

Cue Nasima confessing to her parents about aforementioned boyfriend in order to get sent to Pakistan so that she can train for her 'mission'.

The director proudly claimed to have spoken to Muslims before making this film. I'm not sure what he spoke to them about, but it wasn't Islam or how Muslims interact with each other.

Nasmina is shown making wudu and praying by the side of the men. Considering this is meant to be an 'Islamist' camp, neither she nor the other women wear hijab. When she agrees to do the mission. The leader makes this bizarre convenant which makes no mention of Allah. While doing so, he puts his hand directly on her head.

She then returns to London to finalise the preparation for her mission. While in London she lives with a male fellow terrorist, which would also be a no-no islamically, but the script remains unconcerned with such matters.

She looks a bit troubled that there might be children there at the planned detonation site, but this doesn't last long. This is another major problem. We know she is mourning her friend and blames the government for her death, but again, it's just not convincing. Her motives are unclear. A character tells her she will "sit at God's right hand", which is an odd statement from a Muslim, as there is nothing in Islamic theology about anyone sitting at the right hand of Allah. However, she replies that she is not doing this for that reason. Yet if she is doing this for emotinal reasons, i.e to avenge her friends death, she seems curiously lacking in passion. I'm not sure if it's the fault of the actress, the script or both.

So she goes to her final destination, wearing virginal white and an empathy belly to hide her bomb. Before she can detonate it, her brother finds her, they struggle in slow motion. Then the screen goes fuzzy.

Now for some statistics. Remember the director has spoken to real Muslims, so we are treated to statement about 81% of young Muslims think UK foreign policy is an attack on Islam and will increase the likelihood of terrorism in the UK. Then information about the Government anti-terror legislation laws passed.

Following this is a clip of Nasima's suicide video, where she declares the public are all guilty for electing the current government she declares that Muslims will fight ending by saying "So Help Me God", which is just not the sort of terminology a Muslim would use. Considering the number of real video messages made by suicide bombers, you've think this would not be difficult to portray in a mildly authentic manner, but it's fair to conclude this programme as the same relation to authenticity that a tree slug has to moonwalking.

Anyway. According to the director, my criticism is:
"disrespectful to the many Muslims who worked on the script and the production."

I stand by my opinion, they should be ashamed at how they earn their money. I would rather clean toilets with a toothbrush for a living then be involved in making such prejudiced garbage.

The above comment came from a live discussion forum on the show held on the Channel four website after the show. Here are some other choice tidbits:

"The 2 Pakistani girls at the bomb factory were hot. Liked the bra scene. Good work Peter."

"The fact you showed just how easy it was for Nasima to create her bomb in the 2nd part from odds and ends from any hardware store. It seems like there could be a bomb workshop in every other house all over the country."

"I know that so far we (the British people) have been very lucky so far. 7/7 was an atrocity but could have been so much worse. Are you not afraid that young Muslims will watch the documentary and be inspired?"

***

This is just the latest in a seemingly never ending torrent of negative portrayals of Muslims and Islam. Both films and television will claim to tackle any number of difficult issues, yet they find it impossible to show Muslims in a realistic manner. If there is no room for our reflection in their media mirror, then it's time we made our own mirrors.

And I thought Sleeper Cell was bad...

2007-10-31T16:58:00.000-07:00

...until I saw Britz.

This is a two part drama on Channel 4 focusing on a British Asian Muslim brother and sister. He works for M15, she is a trainee terrorist. "Which Side Are You On?" is the tag line. Err, neither actually, thanks for asking. Oh sorry, you didn't ask me did you? As I'm just a normal law-abiding Muslim and my life is not very dramatic.

Early in the programme we have the 'Radical Student Scene', where a guy in 'Muslim dress' says things about being able to attack civilians and is met with fervent applause.

When I watch something like that, someone twisting my religion, lying about what I hold to be sacred it hurts. It just upsets me so much. Worst of all, people will watch this and thinks it's true. When any Muslim says otherwise, people think we are lying, or not 'real Muslims'.

The programmes are meant to use drama to inform and 'provoke debate'.
In Britain this year we've had visits from Sheikh Hamza Yusuf and Imam Zaid Shakir (May Allah swt preserve them both), two of the most knowledgeable and charismatic scholars visit us.
These are two men with a wealth of knowledge, particularly about Islam in the west. Did they get to appear on prime -time tv? No.

Other than that, it was just so cliched. Pakistan is shown as a technology-free slum, where "nothing changes". The male lead and his icy blonde fellow spy have an affair because as Muslims on tv must be terrorists, so must pretty actresses take their clothes off. The M15 part of the drama looked like Spooks. Zzzzz

In interviews, the actors have waffled on about "playing complex characters" and "transcending labels", but they haven't. They've just made Muslims look bad (The only good Muslim is a non-practicing one, e.t.c) and given the Islamophobes another reason to scowl at women in hijab and mutter about what we talk about in mosques.

In Islam, there is a lot of importance placed on having an income from halal (permitted means). This is because your money is what buys your food, clothes, the roof over your head. If the money is tainted, it taints everything you buy with it.

There a lot of Muslim names in the cast list of this show. They should be ashamed of how they make their money.

Blame it on the Burqa/This is why I mod

2007-10-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

In an era saturated with a love of the symbolic, the burqa has to be one of the most potent, a signifier for female subjugation (by Muslims) in shapeless black fabric.

Never mind that fabric has no powers, oppression is carried out by humans who are usually men.

Still on many feminist blogs and discussion groups, when female discrimination is brought up, there will often be a few remarks about burqas and the poor Muslim women.

This needles me on numerous levels.

On a personal level, I consider myself a feminist. Always have done, insha Allah always will. I have no problem whatsoever reconciling that with my faith. I know I'm not the only Muslim women to feel like this. Disparaging remarks about Islam, shut us out of the conversation. Speak to us, not about us, you might be surprised by what we have to say.

Then there is the matter of people insulting something they know very little about. Have they met or spoken to any Muslim women. You can talk about subjugation under the veil, but have you spoken to anyone wearing it? Ayan Ali Hersi does not count.

Finally and most disturbingly, is the issue of racism. It can be called orientalism, but that academic term often seems to dress up the ugly reality. When there is talk about suffering Muslim women, a frequent theory is: Muslim women are so oppressed, because Muslim men are so brutal. Cue the stereotypes: variations on the theme of the "Barbarous Arab".
Mixed with a White Saviour Complex, this is a heady intoxicant.

*****

I am back to moderating comments. It's an easier way of keeping an eye on things. I don't mind personal insults, but the thought of something anti-Islamic lingering on my blog upsets me.

The best thing about it is, you can delete the comments from your blog but still have a record of them in your email inbox. Great!

Here is an especially asinine one from a notorious troll. It does, however, serve to sum up the thought processes described above.

So you like your rags and not waxing now!
Screw you and hopefully a Muslim man beats you as he's allowed!
Screw Muslims and all their followers!

So Mr Troll, here is my response:

1)Actually it a recommended act for both male and female Muslims to keep body hair neatly trimmed. It is much more hygienic.

2)I think this says more about you and what thoughts you have inside your head then it does about me. Anyway, since you are interested in Islamic marriages, here's another link for you.

3)Hmm, you are rather fond of that verb, aren't you? There is a mistake in this line. You see, Muslims don't have followers, we are followers of Islam.

I am convinced now that you didn't mean to write that comment. No one could possibly be that banal on purpose. I think you meant to write something like this:

So do you like wearing hijab?

To which I would respond, why, yes I do. Aside from the religious reasons, I always used to have bad hair days and it keeps my ears warm in winter. A sister once described hijab as "a hug for your head". I like that description.

Mr Outlines sounds nice, I hope you have many happy years together.

Yes I am rather fond of him, alhamdulilah. Thank you for your wishes,insha Allah this will happen.

Peace to all the Muslims, Peace to Everyone!

Thank you and the same to you.

See, it's so much nicer to be nice!

What do Muslims ask Allah swt for most?

2007-10-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that I want people to take away from this blog it's this:

Islam is for everyone

Really. Not just for people of x ethnic group, or whatever.

Allah swt states in a hadith:
"When My servant walks towards my, I run towards him".

That's all us Muslims are doing, walking towards Allah swt. Some of us keep the pace better then others, some of us get distracted, fall off, whatever, but we keep on walking.

Nobody starts climbing midway up the ladder, you have to start from the bottom, step by step.

Which brings me to the title of my post.

The answer to the question is this:

Idhinas sirat al mustaqim
Show us the straight way

This is verse/ayah six of Surah/Chapter Al Fatiha, the first Surah of the Quran, which is recited in every unit of prayer.

So a Muslim says this at least 17 times, in the five obligatory prayers, but most of us pray additional prayers and so we say it even more then that.

It really is the most sincere desire, to follow the guidance of Allah swt and the way of His beloved final Prophet, Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him).

For anyone interested in reading about the Qur'an, a really good site is Al Tafsir.

I would like to point out for my two favourite Non-Muslim readers that it also shows translations in Portuguese (Ali's favourite language) and Romanian (Although you speak English better then me, Alina!).

When I first head about Islam, I could never imagine being a Muslim:
"No way, that's far too strict, what fun do they have?!"

I can remember seeing the Qur'an channel on telly, flicking past, not interested.

What changed is that I began to feel the absence of God in my life. I saw religious people and thought, "I want what they have, that certainty, that guidance".

Then I became friends with a Muslim, read a translation of the Qur'an and that was that.
*gasp*, I think I've finally let my conversion story slip! Told you it was nothing exciting.

It wasn't easy, I had my struggles as everyone does.

Still, I have to tell Mr Outlines that he's the second best thing to have happened to me.

The first best thing was becoming Muslim. Insha Allah, it always, always will be.

Eid ish

2007-10-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

The U.K is a pretty small country, safely within one time zone.

Yet can we celebrate Eid on the same day?

NO!!!

Subahana Allah, I'm so sorry to end my blog break with negativity, but this is absolutely ridiculous. Even within the same city, people are celebrating Eid on a different day.

I check the Ramadan Uk site - Eid is on Saturday, fine Alhamdulilah, I pray tarawih at home. I get an Eid Mubarak text and check with the local mosque, according to them, Eid is tomorrow.

It's been an odd kind of Ramadan for me. Not ideal, but insha Allah, there are things I can learn from it.

That's the key I guess, reaching for the extraordinary while living in the ordinary.

Being a better Muslim and/or a better person is a lot of work.

I don't think I'm the only one to suffer from bookitis, where you buy lots of Islamic books, so many that you don't actually ever get chance to read them properly, you read a bit of each and don't really get the benefit of any of them.

Insha Allah, just one aim that I take away from Ramadan, it to just concentrate on a few things, to do them regularly and to do them well.

It's easy to feel sad after Ramadan if you didn't quite attain that level of worship that you wanted to. Alhamdulilah, in Islam everyday is an opportunity, everyday we can make that Journey to Allah swt, or at least start on the first few steps of it.

Make today that day. Today is all we have.

In the last days of Ramadan, a very dear and wonderful brother in Islam died. Masha Allah, he had the biggest heart. There may be some of you reading this who know who he was. What made him stand out is that he did things, made things happen and he helped so many people.
He truly believed that Islam for a gift for all mankind and Masha Allah, he welcomed many people to the deen. May Allah swt forgive him and have mercy on him.

Eid Muburak to everyone whenever you celebrate.

P.S I think this is lovely. Jazak Allahu Khayran to all who have made it possible

Update!

2007-09-23T16:14:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulilah! All Praise is due to Allah swt! Faten has been found and she is with her family.

Alhamdulilah!

Missing! Please Help

2007-09-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

I'm interrupting my "sort of" blogging break to post this:

Faten Mawyah was last seen at 8.00PM on Sunday, September 16^th at a 7-11 on Sudley Road West in Manassas, Virginia. She is five foot seven inches tall, has medium length curly black hair and dark eyes. She drives a four door 2005 gold Chevy Impala Virginia registration number KAF-7223. She was a student a George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.

If you have any information concerning Faten Mawyah or her whereabouts please contact Marah at 202-230-7297 or 540-428-2393 or contact your local police station. Thank you.

She is Manal's (wife of Abu Sinan, two dear and lovely people) sister. Please, help if you can, otherwise just pray that insha Allah she is safe and returned to her family soon.

The Most Special Time of the Year

2007-09-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

Ramadan Mubarak to all!

Insha Allah, I'm taking a blog break during Ramadan, so I won't be posting or commenting.

May Allah swt grant you a wonderful and blessed month of growth and an increase in our iman and taqwa.

May He accept our fasting and all other acts of worship that we perform.

May Allah swt enable us to focus on Him and thus draw closer to Him.

May we become filled with appreciation and gratitude for all we have and endeavour to help those who have so much less.

Finally, May Allah swt purify our hearts and let this purity shine through into our actions.

Ameen.

Elsewhere (Link to Girl's Blogosphere Post)

2007-09-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Prithee fair cliche

Eye rolling at cliches in tourism advertising.

Muslims on the internet

2007-09-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

I love the internet. I can remember the first time I ever used the internet (It was in South Wales, in 1998) and thinking that this was the start of a big love affair. All that information, just a few clicks away!

When I became Muslim, I used to search endlessly for information about Islam and Muslims generally.

People might mock "Mullah Google" and talk of the perils of getting your religion from the internet, but lots of us have done it and still do.

For many the interent is a place we feel we can discuss issues freely. Still I think it's important, before typing a response, to think: "Would I go up to that person and say it to their face?".

Muslims are meant to have excellent manners/adab. We even have an example to follow, our beloved Messenger of Allah, the Prophet Muhammed, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

To point about reading about Islam, spending virtual time with Muslims, should be to bring you closer to Allah swt.

So why do I feel like I've been hit in the abdomen with a baseball bat by some of the things I've read?

It's easy to forget that lots of people live quite happily without having an "online life". The other day, I over heard someone asking what a blog was.

It's Ramadan soon, insha Allah and Alhamdulilah for this blessing.

I am seeking humility and purity. I want this month to matter, to have a lasting effect.

Examining how I spend my time, or rather how I waste it. What I can be doing to bring myself closer to Allah swt.

A while ago, Bint Will (a regular commenter on Umar Lee's blog) said that she wasn't sure if she is a better person since becoming a Muslim.

Her question resonated with me - am I a better person? I don't know, but I know that I want to be.

A big step I am currently taking is looking at what enters my ears and my eyes. Is it beneficial? Is there better things I could be doing. Insha Allah, the internet is one of those areas.

As always, if anyone has any advice or thoughts on this, please feel free to leave a comment or email me (my address is in my blog profile).

If anything thing good is in this blog post, it is from Allah swt, if anything bad is here, it's from me.

May Allah guide and protect you all.

Non-stick

2007-09-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

If you ask, I will tell you: "I am a Muslim".

That is what I call myself. No prefixes, suffixes or hyphens in any way.

There are certain things I follow within Islam, but still, I am a Muslim.

I am not better or more knowledgeable then you.

Any blessings or good qualities I have are from Allah swt and I am thankful to Him and to Him alone for them.

When I look at myself, I see many weakness, and much work I need to do and I pray insha Allah to have the life available to do it.

When I look at you, I say:

"Asalaam Alaikum wa rahamatullah wa barakatu"

Can a Country be Evil?

2007-09-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

Just to watch it burn.

2007-08-29T16:12:00.000-07:00

This summer there have been several outbreaks of forest fires across
southern Europe. A big chunk of Greece is currently ablaze.
Disturbingly, it has been reported that a substantial number of the
blazes were started deliberately.

A possible theory for the arson attacks is so that the land can be cleared and developed upon.

People have died in these fires. The current toll is 64 people in the current outbreak.

If
someone/people, (and it is an if, not a definite) started those fires,
purely for financial gain, that is greed of an almost mutant nature.

Can
you imagine having the literally, burning desire to make money so much,
that you didn't care if you killed your neighbours, or whoever in order
to do it.

Does that sort of greed consume you, whisper in your
ear all the time? Is it sharp like hunger pains, or more like a gnawing
sensation, that you have the right to be successful, it'sok, you don't mean to harm anyone.

There
is something almost mythological about such levels of greed, that
desire to have everything, even if it means everyone has nothing.

We
see this greed in many guises. It is so often excused. Wanting
something at the expense of someone else - it is the other person's
fault. You were greedy first, you worked hard for this, deserve this,
need this.

To want so much, consume without question, devour without satiety. There is no end, just a perpetual pursuit of the means.

Something I just had to share

2007-08-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

From the live chat with Ummah Film's Baba Ali on Islamonline.net

Not a question, a comment: I found Baba's hijab video while researching Christian headcoverings. That video gave me a window into Real Muslim(tm) who weren't terrorists, weren't scary, and were introspective and just trying to live a good life. Long story short, a few months later, after reading the Qu'ran and discussing with a few ppl, I took Shahada. So thank you Baba, for opening the windows to truth for me. Salaams and blessings, brother.

Alhamdulilah! It can be the smallest things that lead someone to Islam. Masha Allah to Baba Ali for his excellent work and a reminder to us that our actions can have great consequences - so represent!

Beyond Bigotry

2007-08-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages."
Trial judge, Leon Bazile, Loving case

"O Mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you might know each other"
Surah 49:13 Yusuf Ali's translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an.

Interracial relationships still provoke a varied and virulent reaction, encompassing everything from fetishisation to digust. Someone in an interracial relationship may be told that they've sold out, or that they'll have to sacrifice their culture and their way of life. People openly say they don't like them, don't agree with them, would never consider being in one, like it's a radical lifestyle choice.

People talk about these issues, forgetting that interracial relationships are ultimately, just that: relationships. A connection between two people. Communication and compromise are key to an interracial relationship, just as they are to any other relationship.

Mr Outlines and I, we're an interracial marriage. It's a heavy label. It's makes what really was so natural, so obvious (alhamdulilah), sound artificial.

It's not really about race anyway, If I married a Russian, we would both be white but our cultural differences would be just as vast.

I read a lot about the perils of marrying someone from abroad, the attitudes they might have.... such gloom.

I just haven't found it to be like that. Whatever differences we have, there are far more things we have in common. our cultures and manners, something to explore, not something to feel isolated from each other by.

We like to share our culture with each other. We'll discuss history, national quirks, different things all mixed up with personal backstories, sharing our history to build our future together.

Frequently we will say, "In English/Arabic, there is a saying that....."
to which the answer is nearly always "There's the same saying in Arabic/English too".

I thought I knew, but I didn't

2007-08-15T18:42:00.001-07:00

I tried to upload a video from YouTube for a post, but it appears to have got lost somewhere in the the hinterlands of the Internet.

Loulou posted this quote on her blog a while ago:

"Sometimes only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated."

Alphonse de Lamartine

I thought I knew what it meant, but now I realise that I only understood what it meant, which isn't the same thing at all. You can understand someone's feelings, but it takes a similar experience to know what that situation feels like.

Mr Outlines is working away at the moment. I'm almost annoyed with myself for missing him so much. Especially as missing him translates into me not wanting to do anything except sleep, watch bad tv and surf the internet. There are so many more positive activities that I could be doing, but I don't want to do anything except mope. I hope this passes, I have so many things I need to be doing instead.

I know you are not reading this, but I miss you, I miss everything.

Mittwoch, Mercredi, Dydd Mercher, Yawm Al Arbiaa, Miercoles

2007-08-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

I don't update this blog enough..... so insha Allah I will try and do a weekly update every Wednesday.

Outlines of a Hypocrite
Elsewhere I declared that British people were not overly patriotic or arrogant about their country.
This week, I asked Mr Outlines: "What's your national anthem?". Mr Outlines being from a land where this sort of knowledge is obligatory, was able to sing it perfectly and then translate it.
My response "Pah! I only know about three lines of our national anthem, but it's better than that."
After repairing to the internet for a demonstration, he had to agree that it was (In terms of tune rather then lyrical content, neither of us are big royalists). Me, I was impressed that it contains the line "Confound their knavish tricks". What a turn of phase! If it was written today it would be something like "Put a bad story about them in the press". We are indeed dumbing down.

Ice Head
Several times a week, I'll say to Mr Outlines, "I wish I was a bounty hunter", because I'm watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter". I love that show. It's just great on so many cheesy levels.
Aside from that, it's also a reminder (if you needed one) that crack is evil and will destroy your life, if you are stupid enough to go anywhere near it.

Thin but won't win
I also watched a documentary called "Thin", about a treatment centre for eating disorders on the US. People suffering from ED are often seen as attention seeking teenage girls, when sadly ED's are mental illnesses with an extremely high mortality rate. The saddest part was one women explaining that her eating disorder was her entire life.
The media is culpable for this. The ideals just do not reflect society and it's frightening how quickly size zero is becoming an acceptable aim. In the 70's Agnetha from Abba was probably considered the ideal woman, now she would be deemed fat.
We are made in all different shapes and sizes, why can't that be celebrated?

A Shiny Heart
The "study kick" consist of some Islamic courses I'm taking online through a rather well known website.
Tip - Do not look at the course catalogue, say "I need to learn everything" and take three courses at once, not when you work full time, anyway. Still, I have been incredibly slack in my learning for a long time now, so I feel like I have some running to do.
Alhamdulilah, I am enjoying the study and it is really helping in my Rememberence of Allah swt.
I really needed this. It's just so easy to get caught up with everyday things, you forget the ultimate aim.

Finally, if you tell one lie.....
"The splicing together of extracts from longer speeches appears to have completely distorted what the speakers were saying.

"The CPS has demonstrated it will not hesitate to prosecute those responsible for criminal incitement.

"But in this case we have been dealing with a heavily-edited television programme, apparently taking out of context aspects of speeches which in their totality could never provide a realistic prospect of any convictions."

Random stuff huit

2007-07-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Ali

1)When I'm by myself and in a good mood, I jump up and down, in sort of Tigger bounces. My Mum used to catch me doing it and nearly die laughing because it looks so odd.

2)Chun Li is one of my heroes. I can even remember looking around the games arcade on holiday. The title sticker had come loose on a machine. I stuck it back in place and read Street Fighter 2, I read through the list of characters and was thrilled to see that one was a woman. I can even remember her description: "Chun Li may not be a powerful, she her speed makes her opponents look like slow-moving tree slugs". I like hair buns too.

3)As seen the article above, I have an excellent memory for trivia, especially music trivia.

4)I don't like small spaces. I hate to admit it, as it sounds really weedy.
When I was in Egypt, we got some tickets to go in the second biggest pyramid, I took one look and the small entrance and all the tourists swarming into it and said that I felt unwell. In fact, more shameful then that, I lied and said I had period pains to get out of it.

5)I love to sleep and can sleep almost anywhere, with frequently embarrassing consequences.
I think sleep is one of the best things on Earth. When I can't just drift off to sleep I feel cheated of a great pleasure.

6)The second time I ever saw my husband, as soon as he walked in the room, I knew that I would marry him. I remember examining his face really closely, as I was absolutely certain that her would be my husband. Alhamdulilah.

7)Similarly, As soon as The Friend Who Introduced Me To Islam, gave me a copy of Yusuf Ali's English translation of the Qur'an, I knew that it would provide the answers I was looking for. The only thing I wasn't sure of is if I would have the strength to become Muslim.

8) Although I rarely mention them on here (as they don't know about the blog, so I don't want to write much without their permission), I love my parents so much, I get teary when I think about them. I think it's because I'm worried that they don't know how much I love them. I tell them, and show them, but it doesn't seem enough.

I'm not sure there's anyone left who hasn't done this, the only person I can think of is Warrior Princess.

The Beauty, The Beauty, The Beauty

2007-07-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

Something that hurts: hearing Muslims insult Islam.

It hurts. Physically. Worse then someone insulting your family.

I know that some people (usually men) have twisted the teachings of Islam, turned it's mercy towards women into chains and insults.

These twistings, they are not in the Qu'ran, nor in the sunnah of our beloved Prophet saw.

We are warned against taking part of a our religion and leaving others, so why allow people to do this? Why not point out to them with patience and manners why they are wrong, instead of condemning Islam wholesale.

Islam is a message for all people, for all times, it belongs to all Muslims.

.........................................................................................................................................................................

I cover. From personal choice. I cover out of religious obligation, not for the pleasure of any man. When I go out, only my hands and face are on show. But, covering is more than just clothes. It is modesty in behaviour too. Still, I walk, I speak, I work, I don't cower. There is no prison for me, just what I choose to show and choose to hide.

I could cover more, wear niqab, leave the house less. I would still be me. My heart would still beat, my mind still active. I would just be choosing a different path.

I don't feel any less of a human for doing this. My humanity is not wrapped in or governed by material. Is yours?

Arrgh! No internet!

2007-07-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last Monday, the internet died at my house. Much calling of our brightly-coloured broadband company ensued to no avail. We are switching to another company forthwith.

Until then, things may be a little quiet around here and I won't be able to comment as much as usual.

Alhamdulilah, it's not the worse thing in the world, but it is mightily irritating.

I don't know

2007-07-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

Why the U.K?

I don't know why. It will be no surprise to regular readers that I condemn the recent events in London and Glasgow. I see them as incompatible with my faith. I do not know, associate with, or go to lectures by any one who thinks otherwise. If I knew anyone planning such acts, I would report them to the authorities without hesitation.

Our mosque is open, with khutbahs given in English and Arabic. Community relations are good and the Lord Mayor is a regular visitor. Alhamdulilah, I am fortunate enough to be able to study with some wonderful shayukh. They are also horrified by these activities.

Life in the U.K for Muslims, despite being disliked by all sides of the media, is generally good. Compared to many other parts of the world, we are able to practice our religion with few restrictions.

This weekend, we've been shaking our heads. This comment on the Alternative Entertainment blog sums up my feelings very well:

# a Says:
July 2nd, 2007 at 5:08 am

subhan allah

what the hell is wrong with these people??

i’m actually seriously scared of them kicking us out of this country. is this what these terrorists want? that we all leave this country and go back to the so-called muslim countries? what? so that my brother has to shave his beard off so he has a chance of getting a job in one of those countries? absolutely disgusting. may Allah save us, ameen.

Ameen

Barmy stickers at bus stops

2007-06-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

The little stickers you sometimes see for some little known political
or social movement. I saw one the other day for the Optimum Population
trust.

So I googled and predictably enough, they are a group
concerned that the Earth is becoming overpopulated, and the negative
effects this will have on the world, both socio-economically and ecologically.

There are two main problems with their ideology.

Firstly, overpopulation is a symptom of a greater problem. To see it as an end cause of disaster is fallacious and unhelpful.

They
argue that countries with rapidly growing populations are usually
stricken by poverty. Failing to see that the cause of this poverty
isn't overpopulation, but poor education and health care provision,
which leads to people being unable to plan their families and therefore
rapid population increases occur. Improved standards of living usually
result in a drop in the birth rate, as demonstrated in almost all of the
wealthier nations.

Also that a large number of the poorer
countries still have a high proportion of the population involved in
agriculture. Therefore, bigger families are desirable to strengthen
the workforce.

Secondly, the website discusses overpopulation in the U.K.

Within my lifetime, the birthrate
in the U.K has dropped from 2.4 children to 1.9 children. As the Baby
Boomers reach retirement age, there is great economic concern about the
workforce being too small to support the increasingly large elderly
population. In Germany, a country facing similar problems, the
government are actually looking at ways to encourage families to have
more children.

So what could be the population problem in the U.K? Can you see what they might suggest....

....Immigration.
This is a familiar tactic as the media are frequently happy to churn
out stories of the country being "swamped" by immigrants. In such articles (or, more accurately, racist clap-trap masquerading as news), the danger is
stated as immigration being "A threat to our way of life". So what
bigger excuse for xenophobia could there be then overpopulation and there not being
enough food to go round (insert other random fears here), e.t.c.

Consumption of resources is vastly inequal
in the world. We know that most of our production systems, whether
agricultural or industrial are often inefficient and wasteful.

Instead
of acting in a manner akin to Chicken Little we would be better served
looking
at how to get the most out of the resources we have, in a sustainable
manner for the benefit of everyone. That would be true global concern.

Pop goes the Muslim.

2007-06-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting for Isha to happen, then Mr Outlines and I are going to watch The Prestige.
Otowi says it's really good so....

This brings me neatly to something that weighs on my mind somewhat: Pop Culture. Or rather, the Muslim and Pop culture.

I am torn. I know that the greatest thing is to have Remembrance of Allah swt and too much immersion in frivolity isn't good for achieving this.

There is a difference in opinion about the permissibility
of music in Islam. I follow the opinion that it is allowed, but I know
that a lot of music that I like probably doesn't fall into that
category.

Amongst western Muslims, these things seem to be a much bigger deal. People will talk about television watching like it's the worst sin ever...... when I'm sure there are far worse things.

Meanwhile,
those in Muslim countries wonder what all the fuss is about. Mr
Outlines comes from a very pious family (Mother-in-law Outlines stopped
to pray in the middle of having her hair done - Masha Allah), but they
have atv and they don't just watch Iqra. They are also big fans of Fayrouz, but then I think it that may be a legal requirement there. So Mr Outlines really wonders why I ponder so much about this.

I
think what makes me feel guilty, is that I'm not spending enough time
on the truly worthwhile things to justify spending more time on not
massively important things.

It's hard. When I come home from
work, I want to stick my brain in a cupboard. Listening to music can
seem far more relaxing then reading a book that makes me feel even
more, what a bad Muslim I am.

Another thing. Pop culture is a
shared culture. Opting out makes me feel like I have one less thing in
common with my family and those around me. Some may like to live in a
bubble of the similarly pious. I can see the benefits, but for me
that's not an option.

As I have mentioned his family, I showed Mr Outlines the post.

There followed a big discussion on why this was important, honesty amongst Muslims and the feelings of the heart.

"Ask yourself why you feel guilty about these things".

I think I already know the answer, but what's the solution?

It's all about Meme

2007-06-12T13:07:00.000-07:00

This blog has been a bit furrowed-of-brow of late so I shall be doing some memes. I have loads to get round to so....

SECTION 1 - Last 1s?
1. Last beverage? Orange squash.

2. Last phone call? The phone company to query our bill.

3. Last instant message? One of my friends ages ago. I'm not much of an I.M queen

4. Last cd played? Don't play cd much, more into MP3's on my phone. Anyway, I think it was Toots and the Maytals (Summer = Ska).

5. Last time you cried? I shed exactly two tears watching the season finale of Ugly Betty. It was very sad. I cry very easily at the t.v

6. Last text message? From a friend saying her husband had got the job he wanted.

Section 2 - 6 Have You Evers:
1. Dated someone twice? No

2. Been cheated on? No.

3. Kissed someone & regretted it? No

4. Lost someone special? Yes, but I've gained more then I've lost, so Alhamdulilah.

5. Been depressed? On occasion, but far less then I was in my teen and early twenties.

6. Been drunk and threw up? Becoming Muslim cured me of that habit!

Section 3 - List 3 Favorite Colors

1)The inside of my eyelids on a sunny day

2)My cats' fur when the sun shines on it

3)A really blue sky

Section 4 - This month have you

1. Made a new friend? No, but there's still time.

2. Fallen out of love? No, Alhamdulilah.

3. Laughed until you cried? I think i've definitely laughed til I nearly choked on
what I was eating.

4. Met someone who changed your life? No, but then who can say? Sometimes you meet someone and it's only later you realise what an effect they had.

5. Found out who your true friends were? I know who they are already.

6. Is there something you want to tell someone? Well I want to tell Mr Outlines that I love him, but I always feel like that. (Pukey but true)

7. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends? This question doesn't make grammatical sense but, Mr Outlines is my best friend and I would kiss him, and I kiss my girlfriends when we meet, so...

8. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life? Most... but I'm starting to make some blog friends who I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting. Insha Allah, one day.

9. How many kids do you want to have? Two would be nice, insha Allah, but we'll see.

10. Do you have any pets? Two gorgeous cats and a mysterious colour-changing goldfish.

11. Do you wanna change your name? Already have done. It is a lot of hassle and I'm always having to spell it out to people, but it is a nice name.

12. What did you do for your last birthday? Can't remember, think I went for a meal with my parents. I'm not into big birthday things.

13. What time did you get up today? 6.40am. Much too early, but sadly necessary.

14.What were you doing at midnight last night? Falling asleep on the sofa while Mr Outlines watched a truly awful MBC2 type film (he has been raised on MBC2, which to those who've heard of it will know what I mean, those who haven't, the show straight-to-video action adventure fare)

15. Name something you CANNOT wait for? The weekend. predictable but true.

16. Last time you saw your father? A few weeks ago, but we spoke on the phone the other day.

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Alhamdulilah for everything. Insha Allah any changes will be good ones. Really there's not too much I would like to change.

18.What are you listening to right now? Myself typing.

19. Have you ever talked to Tom? I have spoken to several Toms

20. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back? Astagfurallah Al Azim, this is truly one of my worst habits.

21.What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone? Socks from Mr Outlines.

22. Who’s getting on your nerves right now? One of my cats was being mildly annoying but he's accepted that I don't want him dancing on my knee right now and he's stretched out on the floor.

23. Most visited webpage? Blogs, especially Umar Lee's as there are always loads of comments.

24. Coke or Pepsi? Dr Pepper.

25. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week? Yes

26. Mac or PC? PC, Mac's are far too Face magazine for me.

I tag everyone reading this if you haven't done it already.

We are all travelling

2007-06-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

Too long, too long, too long. I keep meaning to blog. The words buzz around my head and then chicken out when they reach my finger tips.

Lately, I have been reading about people (on blogs) questioning their faith and their path of Islam.

I want to email these people, to metaphorically lie across the doorway and say "Don't Go" while trying to grab at their ankles. (I know a friend's husband who did this, when she tried to leave in middle of an argument. It did work).

I don't email them, because knowing what someone writes on their blog, is not the same as knowing them. It's their decision.

Why do I care? I care because I believe Islam is the true path. I believe in the Oneness of Allah swt, His Prophets (peace be upon them all), His Books, His Angels, The Last Day and His Predestination.

That does not mean I think you cannot be a good or happy person without these beliefs.

Still, I believe they are the truth and it is one thing to have never believed in them and another to have believed once and then stopped believing.

I love blogging and I find other Muslim blogs especially interesting. However, sometimes it's very easy to fall into the trap of always remembering that you are Muslim without remembering Allah swt.

Muslims are an imperfect people in an imperfect world. But it's not even that we are imperfect, it's that we are so flawed despite having the guidance of the Qu'ran and the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet, Muhammad (may Allah swt shower him with peace and grant him an exalted staion in Paradise).

So, the blogosphere it a great place to gnash your teeth at the folly of the Ummah. But too much negativity is corrosive. We see the badness of our coreligionists until it starts to seem like Islam itself is bad.

Yet Allah swt, Owner of the most beautiful names is perfect, flawless, unchanging. With faith in Him, there is beauty, hope and sirat al mustaqim and it is with remembrance of Him that we can achieve it, insha Allah.

So Easy

2007-05-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

Allah swt knows. Your earliest memory, the people you love more then you can say, the swear words you utter under your breath, your deepest fears, the music you secretly like, what you actually do all day, your regrets, every action, every intention whether in private or in public.... Allah swt knows everything about you. He is the One we aim to please and we can hide nothing from Him.

Still, we can hide things from other people, right? Not just hide those things but pretend we never, ever do them and look down on those who do. We can aspire to be an image and think that the closer someone is to that image the more perfect they must be.

I will put this simply. I know excellent, pious Muslims who don't watch t.v, don't listen to Music and dress in a traditional manner. I also know Muslims of equal sincerity and piety who do listen to music, wear western clothes and never miss an episode of Lost.

People attain nearness to Allah swt in different ways. It is an individual journey and it as individuals that we will be judged.

We are angry when others demean our faith, yet by attaching such importance to little things, by assuming piety is measured in inches (beards, hijabs e.t.c), we demean it ourselves.

Shut you out

2007-05-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

I am sick to beyond my own back teeth of reading little internet macho men insult Muslims and particularly Muslim women.

Constantly they cant on about how oppressed and backwards we are, not realising that we do not need or want their contemptuous pity.

Let me spell it out for you:
I am a law abiding, tax paying, hard working citizen of this country, so don't tell me to go back anywhere or imply I am somehow costing you money. I belong here as much as you do and contribute fully to society.

I believe in multiculturalism, not just for Muslims (although we are, actually a multicultural bunch), but for everyone. Diversity and respect for each other will bring us strength, it will make us stronger.

Islam is a beautiful religion, Alhamdulilah. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer them and I accept that you might not want to be Muslim. Contrary to popular belief, forced conversions are forbidden in Islam.

But, back to the haters. I can not help but notice the misogyny that seeps through most anti Muslim diatribes, the disdain that they view Muslim women with. Virtually every single blog I know that is written by a Muslim women on the net either has, or has had comment moderation on due to receiving abuse from Anti-Muslim men. Strange how they seem more hesitant
about stepping up to our brothers.

To all the secular "Muslims"/Arabs/e.t.c who belittle practising Muslims and especially practising Muslim women, shame on you.

Those who insult Islam and Muslims, you may call yourself secularists, pro-Western, or whatever, I call you racist and misogynistic and pity you for your ignorance which you do not seek to remedy, the loathing in your hearts and your cowardice in writing things which you would never dare to say to a Muslim's face.

I seek refuge in Allah swt the All -Knowing, source of all strength.

I Miss You

2007-04-30T14:33:00.000-07:00

This was inspired a post called "Dear Husband" on Organic Muslimah's blog

I miss you,
but I haven't met you yet.
So special.
But it hasn't happened yet

...But if you believe in dreams
Or what is more important:
That a dream can come true,
I will meet you.

I Miss You by Bjork.

As a daydreaming teenager, I used to ponder about "The One". Who would he be? Where was he? Was he somewhere thinking about me?

These thoughts continued as I got older, though I still could not imagine being with him. Would you be that happy all the time? Would they love you for who you are or just what they liked about you? Would I love them in the same way?

Being settled with someone, having that other half, even after becoming Muslim, with a religion that strongly emphasises marriage, imagining being married felt like dreaming of being an astronaut, I could visualise it in my head, but it actually happening...?

When something wonderful happens to you, an event that's completely unexpected, in your mind you turn over all the coincidences that lead to it. The conference you decided to go on, the train you happened to catch. The sweetness of knowing only a few days prior to this, your mind was filled with other thoughts, unaware of the joy that awaited you.

I still can't believe it has happened, it's real, this is my life. This person by my side, my love, my best friend, my future.

I never knew I could love someone this much. That is the biggest surprise, that my heart was capable of such emotion. The more I know him, the more I love him, the good and the bad parts, they make him the person he is.

I want to grow old with him, have children with him, travel the world with him, grow as a Muslim with him.

I always tell him he is the second best thing to have happened to me, the first being to have converted to Islam.

A while ago, a friend of mine told me to "Be patient, You won't get more then what Allah swt has written for you" .

Alhamdulilah that He has written this. All blessings are from Him and all praise is due to Him. May Allah swt soften all our hearts. Ameen.

Rose/Warda

2007-04-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

Firstly, a confession: I'm not really Safiya. I only call myself Safiya on my blog, for the purposes of maintaining anonymity.

After converting, I did contemplate taking a Muslim name and decided that Safiya was a nice name (and I greatly admire Safiya R.A). Not long after I converted, my Mum asked me "You don't have to change your name do you?" I answered truthfully, no, to her great relief. My name is special to my parents. It's special to me too, the phonetics please me and it just feels like my name, so I could never bring myself to call myself another name.

I remember one Muslim lady being flabbergasted that I hadn't taken a Muslim name. I wish I had just said: When asked a factual question, I will respond. Asking the same question repeatedly will not change my response to an answer that suits you.

As for the rest of my name, my middle name is a bit blah but I loved my surname. It fitted very nicely with my first name and reflected my Celtic heritage. But it still stopped being my surname after marriage, for different reasons.

Growing up, it was a given that you changed your name once you got married. A feature of any teenage crush was seeing how your name sounded with his surname.

Islam is still largely not seen as a white person thing. Hence the endless slew of articles featuring "white women in hijab" (Whenever I've heard of any media requests for interviews with new Muslims they always have that same request), because it's so bizarre and kooky(!)

So my name started to seem strange to other people, especially if they had seen my name before meeting me. One experience was waiting outside to meet a business associate outside their building. I told them where I would be waiting, and I waited for over twenty minutes before they approached me, and asked with a look of disbelief "Are you.....?".

I started getting tired of my non-Muslim name. Should a name reflect who you are, especially what is most important to you?

At this point, I will point out that Islamically it is forbidden to change a child's surname/family name to obscure or conceal their parentage.

There are different opinions on the changing of surnames. It is not a Sunnah, lots of Muslim women don't take their husband's name, but there are opinions that a woman changing her name on marriage is acceptable.

I decided that were I to marry a Mr Born Muslim, if he had an Islamic surname, I would take it after marriage.

So that's what I did. Yes, it's nice in the girly romantic way, but more importantly, my new surname is a classical Arabic word, which is in the Qu'ran and it feels good to have that connection.

However, I'm still at little uneasy about some of my intentions. I'm a white Muslim, an oddity. Insha Allah, as more people convert (not just white people, but from other traditionally not-Muslim ethnicities) it will become less odd.

But I'll still be strange. At the airport in Homeland of Husband, I was asked if my father was of that nationality, "La, zawji (No, my husband is)".

Or you get the irritating (on a sand in your underwear level) assumption that as you are married, your hijab is playing "dress up" to please that domineering husband of yours.

The bottom line is, whatever you choose in this life, someone will annoy you about it, so just make sure your choices are good for you.

N.B I didn't actually get rid of my old surname all together. I changed my name via deed poll, so it became another middle name. I'm glad it's still there.

Meme -If the blogosphere was going to end tomorrow....

2007-04-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is a Meme Alina tagged me to do. You can read more about it on her site. Basically, it was started by a blogger called Urban Monk, who has promised to donate $1 to charity for every meme.

The basic concept is: if the blogosphere was going to end tomorrow, what would your last blog post be?

Here is mine:

I first became interested in blogs shortly after I converted to Islam. At this time, I would spend hours on the Internet, looking up everything I could about Islam. It's fair to say that the Internet isn't always the best source of information on Islam, but that's for another post.

It was through the comments section on Muslim Wake Up! (Yes, I used to read it), that I found Luckyfatima's blog, reading blogs lead to reading more blogs and that is how I've ended up with the variety of people on my blog roll.

The blogs I read were a refreshing anti dote to Islamic websites which were either scary fundamentalism or hipster progressivism. These bloggers felt like I did, loved Allah swt like I did and just like me, were working towards being better Muslims in their everyday life.

I didn't just read Muslims blogs, but blogs from all faiths (or none). The voices carried in all these blogs made me think about my own voice.

About a year after I started reading blogs, I felt ready to begin my own blog. It's harder then it looks. Ideas that buzz around your head, easily congeal when in the form of words on the screen.
Developing your voice, while avoiding cliches and pretentious language and always remaining sincere. Finding the time and discipline to blog, all these things were goals I was working towards.

And now it must end. I still have things left to say, but I shall look for a new form to say them.
I am grateful for all the people, too many to name who have inspired me with their posts and uplifted me with their comments.

More then this I am pleased to have had the opportunity to speak as a Muslim woman, a section of society so often spoken about, but rarely spoken to. There is endless hand wringing about Muslim integration. I hope that my blog, like many others shows that integration isn't something that others demand we achieve, it is something we are accomplishing in our daily existence. We are not The Other, nor do we wish to be.

Finally, I thank Allah swt for all His blessings and ask Him to forgive any errors I have made in this blog.

La ilaha il Allah, Muhammad-ur-Rasool-Allah

May all of you be blessed with good health and strong voices,

Wasalaam,

Safiya Outlines.

I tag everyone who reads this!

Talking about textiles.

2007-04-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is a hijab post. I know there have been many, many hijab posts. Still, I think Muslim women have the right to reclaim the discourse, so here is my little effort.

These are my honest feelings, not religious guidance. These are the choices I have made and I respect the differing choices of others.

Alhamdulilah, I like wearing hijab, for many reasons.

Firstly, as I have stated before, I believe hijab is a fard (a religious obligation). So I feel, that of the many should-do's that there are in Islam, it's good to have ticked one off.

That sounds very prosiac, I know so let me clarify that.

As Muslims we seek to submit to Allah swt. It's not easy. The stuggle to submit my brain to concentrate on prayer for five minutes! But when I put on my hijab, I'm doing something Allah swt has asked of me and it feels good.

Physically, I like the feel of wearing hijab. It's good to wrap your head up on a cold day.
If I'm honest, it feels like a kind of security blanket, then sensation of it, but also the reminder it provides in times of stress: "Yes I am Muslim, this situation is only temporary... breath deeply and think of Allah".

I like wearing it as visible statement of my faith, but I won't trot out the tired line of not being judged, as people still judge you or not being hassled, as people judge you in a different way.

I like not having any more bad hair days.

Hijab to me is not a big thing, just part of a code of behaviour, that I as a Muslim should follow.

I started wearing it when, I went away, when I went to Muslim gatherings, then when I last went to Egypt and decided that I didn't want to take it off, Alhamdulilah.

I know it is harder for a lot of other women, and I think we all, especially brothers, need to remember this. We all have our own challenges.

For someone thinking about wearing hijab, I would recommend three things:
Intention
Experimentation
Taking your Time.

Any action becomes easier when you know the reason behind it and are convinced of that reason. "My husband wants me to, I get nasty looks from other sisters....." Don't wear it to please other people, you will resent them and yourself for it.

Hijab is not a hair shirt. It should feel comfortable and does not need to be hideously ugly.
There are many different materials and styles of wearing hijab. Find what feels comfortable for you.
This is where I give a special mention to the ladies of Egypt, who know to dress modestly with tons of style, Masha Allah!

You will know when it is the right time to wear hijab. Some people wear it straight after converting/as soon as they hit puberty, others later.

Alhamdulilah, I always have lovely commenters on this blog. I know the more Muslim-then-thou crew would say "Astagfurallah, sister! Hijab is a fard and should be worn immediately, not when it pleases you".

To which I would reply that I agree hijab is fard, therefore it should not be taken lightly. That's why I believe it should only be worn when the sister feels she is ready to wear it, through her own choice.

Where are the blessings in misplaced obedience?

Dreaming of death before I was Muslim

2007-03-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that I died of a chest infection. I didn't go anywhere, I became a ghost. Some people could see me and I could talk to them. I explained that I could only stay until my funeral and then I had to leave, but I didn't know where I was going, I just had to go.

I felt so angry and powerless. I didn't want to be dead and I didn't want to leave my parents, I didn't want them to have to bury me.

My corpse was placed in my bed (not my bed in real life, my bed in the dream). I wanted to slap it, to shake it, I was so angry! How could I die of something like a chest infection? I am strong, I enjoy good health, why did this happen?

I woke up crying and this woke my husband. I explained the dream to him. He reassured and me and reminded me that Muslims don't fear death.

I thought about this and said "I think I was younger in this dream, I don't think I was Muslim then".

Just like when I was vegan, I had dreams where I ate chocolate (of the non-vegan variety). I still have dreams where I'm not Muslim. I don't know if this is a weakness in my faith, or just my brain processing memories from my pre-Muslim life. Certainly, Alhamdulilah, I'm always mindful and grateful to be Muslim in my waking life.

Indeed, one of the best things about being Muslim, is the certainty about death and dying.

There is a hadith about not sharing bad dreams, but this dream is a reminder to me. In Islam, like in many other religions and spiritual traditions, there is an emphasis on reflecting upon death every day. This sounds gloomy but I feel that only from awareness of death can we really appreciate life.

Ya Allah, Alhamdulilah for every heartbeat, for every breath in my lungs. The efforts my body makes without me even realising. Ya Allah, I may not ever be your most pious servant, but help me to always be a grateful one. Ameen.

Best Headline I've seen in ages- Update*

2007-03-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

From the BBC New website:

EU snaps up Gaza croc woman

Customs officers (from the EU border assistance mission) at the Egypt/Gaza border found a lady with three crocodiles taped under her dress, which she intended to sell to Gaza Zoo.

* Just to point out,I love pun laden headlines, that play on words. My previous favourite was "Super Callie go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious", which was about the lowly football team. Caledonian Thistle thrashing Celtic.

So it's the pun I was laughing at, not some poor woman having to smuggle crocodiles for a living, or indeed at the poor crocs themselves.

P.S Crocs is a nice word, don't you think?

A female view of boring stuff for boys: Link to Girl's Club post

2007-03-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

Tired of boring and sexist music videos? Me too.

Everybody is a VIP to Somebody

2007-03-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

I saw this photograph on El Blogador.

The impact of the photo is not immediate. At first glance, it is a coffin being carried. Then framed between two pallbearers, there is the face of a little boy. His anguish and devastation an absolute contrast to the stoicism of the men.

Watching the news, it would seem that life is very cheap. Today saw corpses being dragged through the streets of Mogadishu and burned. In the past four days, at least 174 people have died in three separate accidents in Russia, all of which can be largely attributed to putting financial profit before human safety. Everyday, people are killed in Iraq in a violence so incessant, you wonder if some cities will soon have no one left alive. These are just examples.

There are many people experiencing the same pain as this little boy every day. Life may be cheap, but the cost of killing is incalculable

The photograph was taken by Alan Lewis at the funeral of an RUC officer killed in 1997.
It is part of the "Out of the Darkness" exhibition currently on show at the Ormeau Baths Gallery in Belfast.
For more pictures from the exhibition click here.

Introducing Mr Outlines.....

2007-03-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

.........or rather his blog which can be found here.

He's the only person in my offline life who knows about my blog. I didn't tell him about it until after we were married. It felt like a big thing to tell him. I remember I sat him down in front of the computer and told him in the space of one breath. Not everyone gets the point of blogging. Luckily he was completely unperturbed and became increasingly fascinated by it.

When we were setting up the blog, we discussed whether he wanted it to be an anonymous blog. At first he didn't see the point, but I felt it's better to start off anonymous and then decide to share your details, then the other way around, so he's vaguely anonymous for now.

I'm almost obsessively guarded about revealing any personal details. On his blog he's put the country we live in. That probably comes a no surprise to any regular reader of this blog, but it still felt like a major confession to me. Strangely, I find it easier to talk about myself when commenting on other blogs, maybe because then it feels more like a conversation rather then me baldly stating things.

Maybe one day, I'll want to say this is me and give all the details. I'm not ashamed of anything I've written here (except the typographical errors), I would say it all in person.

For now though, anonymity is the situation. It feels more comfortable this way.

Plea to the Polyglots

2007-03-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am learning Arabic. It is a very slow process, as you can imagine. Alahmdulilah, Mr Outlines is an experienced and very patient teacher, Masha Allah.

Unfortunately, I have a really big weakness: memorising vocabulary. Remembering grammar rules is not a problem, but vocab is not so easy.

So I turn to you, readers, especially since (according to stats and blogroll)a lot of are you are bilingual, if not multi-lingual, Masha Allah.

All advice/learning tips gratefully received and I will let you know how I get on.

Not for Sale

2007-02-25T14:11:00.000-08:00

My friend once went with a guy to his hotel room, and found lots of other men there too. She wouldn't tell me what happened after that, but she was shaking for a long time when she got back home

The above is an extract taken from an interview with a former Thai sex worker. The rest of the article can be read here.

Following the Ipswich murders, there has been renewed interest in the dangers faced by those who sell sex for money.

Some argue that criminalising prostitution is to blame, and that the word prostitute should be replaced by the less judgemental "sex worker".

Again myths are relayed of the "happy hooker", like prostitution is a money making hobby for the over-sexed.

Yet the vast majority of prostitutes are substance abusers, as demonstated in a U.K government report.

So would legalisation actually make much difference for those who sell sex? On the contrary, I feel it would just support the destructive lifestyles of these women. The only people who would benefit are the clients of these women, as they would no longer the shame of getting caught breaking the law.

By being able to purchase a woman, a man is able to feel he can treat her as he wishes. The story above is not an isolated incident. Those who end up as prostitutes are frequently the most vulnerable in society. Amsterdam may have legal brothels, but they are full of trafficked women, and the desperate will still be forced offer to have unprotected sex if it means they earn more money for their pimps.

To encourage prostitution, to normalise it, will only increase the numbers of victims and abusers.

In Sweden, it is not the prostitute who is the criminal, but the client. This has lead to a massive decrease in both the number of prostitutes and the number of people being traffiked into Sweden.

This is taken from the legislation passed:

"In Sweden prostitution is regarded as an aspect of male violence against women and children. It is officially acknowledged as a form of exploitation of women and children and constitutes a significant social problem... gender equality will remain unattainable so long as men buy, sell and exploit women and children by prostituting them."

This is the real issue at stake and shows what women and society as a whole will lose, by ever allowing prostitution to be accepted

Everybody Smile......And Act Gracious (It's my wedding party and I'll booty shake if I want to)

2007-02-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

Firstly, I will state that my in laws are lovely people and I felt very comfortable staying with them, Alhamdulilah.

So the wedding party. My dress was big and white, but very nice in a confectionary type of way. I had my hair "did". Yulia Tymoshenko would have been proud.

The big shock was the make up. I don't wear much make up, never have. I wore some for my Nikah and it took all of five minutes to do. I know that in the Middle East they are not so into subtle make up (think cosmetic counter ladies). But.. to open your eyes and see yourself wearing drag queen levels of make up. Immediately, noticing the stunned horror on my face, I was reassured by cries of "helou, helou" (pretty in Arabic). I had to mumble that it was more make up then I was used to. I figured with the big hair and the big dress the make would probably make sense, which it did, Alhamdulilah.

As for the party, I was told about dancing, but I don't think I grasped the concept, that I would be dancing by myself in front of everyone (note: the party was female only until my husband arrived). The first dance happened just after I arrived. Thoughout I was thinking "I'm going to kill my husband". Especially as I was shortly put to shame by all the expert belly dancers.

Most people at the wedding were very nice, but sat up on my throne I still felt some hostility. I'm sad to say that but it's true. Eventually, I thought "I've done nothing to hurt these people, I love my husband, we married in a halal manner, being white/non-arab is not a crime, so screw the haters".

The second dance was to "Yeah" by Usher (I know!). I decided not to pretend to belly dance and booty shaked instead. I admit I had the attitude of "You think I'm a bad Western girl, well I'll dance like one". Maybe not the wisest of ideas but the big dress stopped it from looking too lewd and to the nice people there it was seen as me getting into the mood of the party. To the not-nice people, I hope it gave them something to talk about.

Then there was an announcement that my husband was on the way and a flurry of re-hijabing and covering.

The best part of the night was after he arrived. We danced and he presented me with some gold jewellery. He had explained that it was tradition to do this, and he didn't want me to get anything less than what a bride usually gets. Then we had to do the really cheesy stuff like drink from the same glass and feed each other pudding. Although it was cheesy, I was loving every minute.

I went to bed that night with solid hair (It took ten washes to get all the product out of it,not to mention the assistance of my sister in law to remove all the hair pins) eye make up I still couldn't completely remove, but really, really happy, because I married a man who's worth all of this and has a family who made it fun. Alhamdulilah.

Fear of a white dress

2007-02-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

Blogging is more fun than packing, as are most things, because I hate packing.

Tomorrow, insha Allah, I'm off to the homeland of husband for in-law meetings and wedding party adventures.

I feel a bit sorry for my in-laws really. It must be hard if your son goes abroad to study and comes back married - and married to a white girl too!

Convert or not, white girls get a bad press. The common perception is that they've run out of white or black guys to sleep with and so they've moved on to Arab/Desi men as they are more likely to commit to marriage. White girls are terrible at all aspects of house work and will not take care of their husbands. Finally, they have no desire to live outside of their own country. I was speaking to an Arab friend of mine, and in many films the western women tells her poor neglected husband "It's me or (insert name of country here)".

So many times, being a convert means being made to feel second-best and nowhere is this more apparent then when it comes to choosing a marriage partner. Out and out racism gets covered in a gloss of "similar backgrounds being important". I know that convert brothers and non-white sisters and brothers have an even tougher time. Insha Allah, I will write a proper post on the shoddy way converts are treated when they are looking for a spouse.

Back to the white dress. I feel nervous about wearing it because I feel uneasy at the thought of being judged and found wanting, solely on the grounds of my ethnicity.

I've discussed this with my husband. His feeling is that he is happy with his choice of wife, anyone who thinks differently should keep their opinions to themselves.

The problem is, I don't just want them to keep their opinions private, I want them to not hold such negative views in the first place.

Is that too much to ask?

Not Right in the Head

2007-01-26T11:57:00.000-08:00

Above, a selection of oh so humourous right-wing t-shirts for your perusal.

I will admit that my first reaction on seeing them was; "Is re-defeat even a proper word?"

It's funny how they still keep that old nostalgic hate of communism. I guess that's the GOP equivalent of kicking it old school.

Two C's, Christianity and Communism. Despite their love of the former and it's values (as they see them) and their hatred of the latter, it always seems like the rabid right wingers don't know much about either.

The only bit of the Bible they know is the parable of the talents (used to prove that making money is good)and Leviticus 20:13. Much talk of Christian values and minimal use of scripture to back it up.

As for hating communism, how many of them have actually read the Communist Manifesto?
Probably none, otherwise they wouldn't be calling Hilary Clinton a Communist.

The most, most despised thing of all to these people is of course Islam and Muslims. They never tire of saying how weak and ill-educated Muslims are, yet we must be pulverised all the same. Have they read the Quran? Or just bits of it posted at Jihad watch?

Maybe it's easier to hate, to feel superior, to call for destruction without really knowing why.

Or maybe, they don't read these books because they're scared to.

Scared that the Bible they support so much, doesn't support their actions.

Scared that they might think the Communist manifesto is an interesting viewpoint of history and had very little to do with what happened in so-called Communist countries.

Even more frightening of all, they might read a translation of the Quran and realise that Allah and God are the same, Muslims love Jesus (peace be upon him) as much as they do, that the Quran advocates many human rights, and the advancement of the human race.

Worst, worst, worst of all to a Muslim hating, arab baiting, blood thirsty (from the comfort of their armchair though) bigot: if they read the Quran, they might think that it is really the Word of God.

And what would happen then?

P.S
It must be really hard not being able to print t-shirts insulting Black or Jewish people. At least they have us Muslims and the Mexicans to insult instead.

Big Brother debate on Umar Lee's blog

2007-01-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

From the comment section of Umar Lee's latest post:

#
Muslim brother
January 21st, 2007 at 1:26 am

Assalaamu alaikum:

Who cares about these stupid non-Muslim issues? A white British female kaafir allegedly said something insulting and bad about a brown Indian female kaafir on a non-Muslim British TV reality show. Who freaking cares? If anything I say, let them fight each other.

The same Indian non-Muslim that you are defending from the other white British non-Muslim surely has many Hindu co-religionists that had no hesitation in perpetrating the genocidal slaughter of thousands of Muslims in Gujarat a few years ago, as they have also killed thousands in other places in India and Kashmir.

Anyway, our most important concerns should be with what is happening in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Chechnya, Kashmir, Palestine, Darfur, etc., etc., not what two non-Muslim bimbos are saying to each other.

Salaam

#
Keep it real
January 21st, 2007 at 1:48 am

Salam Sisters and Brothers:

I was so surprised by your comments on a Kaafir woman and describing how beautiful she is, and what a “great role model” she is. We as Muslims discussing this is not dignifying as we have plenty of good role models that are Muslim women. They are not exposing their bodies, not dancing in Hollywood and Bollywood or anywood movies, and they could be good sisters, mothers and wives.

This is very sad that we Muslims are talking about a non-Muslim woman, praising her as if she was a prophet’s wife or that she had a big impact on our lives. We should watch and discuss good moral Muslim females and talk about it and learn from it. I don’t understand what we will learn from Shelpa Shelly’s personality and supposed “high class.” Please have mercy on yourselves as Muslims and think about something which is Islamically educational and are good examples.

Wasalam.

My Response:

Safiya
January 21st, 2007 at 3:19 pm

To all those asking why we care about "kafir", remember that if the Prophet (saw) and Companions (RA), thought in this manner then Islam wouldn't be the second largest and fastest growing religion in the world.

Abu Talib was a "kafir", yet the Prophet (saw) still felt sadness when he died.

In fact there are numerous examples of the compassion that the Prophet (saw) felt for Non-Muslims, so I suggest you go and read some sirah, before you criticise others for showing concern in a fellow human being.

It stuns me that some below view lack of compassion due to prejudice as being a good Muslim. It's far easier to hate then to love, to ignore rather then to care.

Being a good Muslim means following the Sunnah of the Prophet in all things, not just those we like the sound of or find easy to do.

Stupid Questions and Acceptance/Tolerance.

2007-01-14T14:06:00.000-08:00

Female work colleague: So how does your husband like being married to a white girl?
Me (baffled by question): Well, he likes being married to me very much.

The thing is, my husband's actually pretty light-skinned, as are most people in his country, so it's not as if we sit on the sofa next to each other, comparing skin tones and singing "Ebony and Ivory".

Other questions which are annoying are the ones where people are trying to find out his legal status. A firmly stated "Yes, he is legally allowed to be here, if that's what you're getting at", usually silences that one.

Aside from that, everyone has been very positive, Alhamdulilah. Although I had someone at work I hadn't met before, say "I see you've taken your husband's faith (In a tone of voice like I'd caught syphillis from him). It was quite satifying to show her my work ID (showing me in a hijab) and saying "I've been Muslim for two years now, actually".

The longer I am Muslim, the better it feels to be one, Alhamdulilah. One of the good things about it, is that those around you have gotten used to you being Muslim. Work colleagues know you don't go out drinking and won't go to works parties, it's accepted.

Being tolerated, is not the same as being accepted, that this who you are, what you believe, how you want to live your life.

The acceptance from your family can be harder to obtain, because deep down, they may wish you weren't Muslim. It's hard knowing that those you love want to change something that feels so essential to you.

The last time I visited my parent's house I noticed two new photographs, my wedding photographs, showing me, their daughter in hijab, with her Muslim husband. In pride of place for for all to see. It was then, that I felt accepted.

Death of a puppet

2007-01-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

Some are impressed by Saddam's impassiveness in the face of some disgraceful taunting, and that he was reciting the kalima. It is worth remembering that he has never made any statement or gesture of apology, for all the despicable acts he oversaw.

Yet his categorisation by some as a martyr will be a smokescreen, not just for the acts his regime committed, but also for the wicked intentions of those who gave him succour. The darkness of the execution room hides so much.

Still, it was decided a long time ago that Saddam's head on a stick would be a good response to 9/11. Now, it is just another death in a bloodbath, another event to further divide the ummah.

Than Thou - Part Two

2006-12-29T15:18:00.000-08:00

Manal, wife of Abu Sinan has recently started a blog, and very entertaining it is too. Except she has already had a troll who accused her of "not sounding like a Muslim", which is a nasty and completely unfounded slur.

There is no justification for such behaviour, but the cause of it is simple, yet decidedly unIslamic. We all want to be good Muslims, we want this more than anything else. For some this desire gets mixed up with the longing for others to see what a good Muslim you are, such longings then lead to the childish tactic of calling others bad Muslims so that you look like a good Muslim in comparison.

Or, to put it another way, putting someone else down to make you feel good. Which is less about Islam and more about pride and ego.

We can all be tempted by such thoughts, but there is a simple cure. When you see a Muslim doing something you see as sinful, first consider: "Would I exchange all the sins I currently commit for the sin I feel this person is committing?". Usually the answer is "yes".

Or as Abu Hanifa (RA) so eloquently put it "Oh my eyes, but others have eyes too."

The BNP at the ballet

2006-12-25T12:20:00.000-08:00

Simone Clarke, one of the principal dancers with the English National Ballet has been revealed to be a member of the British National Party.

"Clarke said she believed that immigration had "really got out of hand". She added: "If everyone who thinks like I do joined, it would really make a difference." "

The BNP, for those fortunate enough not to have heard about them already, are a far right party, similar to Le Pen's Front Nationale in France, i.e a bunch of racists fixated on returning their countries to some ideal of racial purity which never actually existed.

The strangest aspect of Clarke's membership, is that her fellow dancer, partner of five year and the father of her child is Chinese-Cuban.

So either she's stupid or extremely deluded or both.

As a member, presumably she must regularly receive some sort of party literature and I wonder what her partner thinks of statements of the U.K being somewhere for whites only and that white people (specifically, Northern European white people, they follow the thinking of their hero Adolf on this),are superior. Or that those who date marry/outside of their race are "traitors".

I feel both disgusted and perplexed by this because, like many converts, I'm in a mixed race marriage. My husband is Arab and a foreign national. Although to the likes of the BNP, I'm already a disgrace for converting to Islam (current legislation means it is not illegal to insult Islam and Muslims in the U.K, something the BNP have readily exploited).

One of the things the BNP finds objectionable about Islam is the idea that Muslims (of the non-white variety) will come into the country and take "their women", as when a mixed race child is born: "a white family line that stretches back into deep pre-history is destroyed."

Do these people not have access to history books? Due to an extensive history of invading each other, there is no pure white race in Europe. It doesn't exist.

In summary, the BNP wish to attack the lives, futures and dreams that I and other people in mixed race relations hold dear. That's why I cannot understand someone in a mixed race relationship supporting them.

One less despot

2006-12-22T14:45:00.000-08:00

It is wrong to feel happiness at the news of someone's death, but I doubt few will shed tears over this:

Saparmurat Niyazov 1940-2006

As an aside, why do these dictators have such an obsession with spending vast amounts of money building kitsch monstrosities?

Also, Turkmenistan is energy rich so the Americans/Russians are both right now probably assembling a puppet with great haste.

May Allah protect the people of Turkmenistan and improve their situation.

Than Thou

2006-12-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

Big, big thanks and shukrans for all the lovely comments. Especially considering how sluggish I've been about updating of late. Insha Allah there will be more posts soon, but this blog will not turn all soppy, I promise.

One of the bad things about blogging is the whole "Than Thou"attitude. You know some bloggers who are cooler than thou, smarter than thou and in the case of religious blogs way more pious and knowledgeable than thou. Unfortunately, such types are not content unless they are inflicting their sense of superiority on someone.

I try be honest on this blog. I listen to music, watch films and tv. I'm not yet the Muslim I'd like to be, but insha Allah I will be one day. Anyone who feels it's their religious duty to tell me otherwise, please find something more constructive to do.

The main reason behind this blog is to give an insight into being a convert (and to rant on about random things). I aware that I have to give a good impression about Islam, but at the same time, I want people to realise that Muslims aren't automatons and we aren't all alike either.

A lot is being said about integration into society. Politicians are trying to turn a highly subjective concept into some standard ideal we all have to match up to. How can you actually judge integration anyway?

We all live in a society, and we should all have the individual choice to participate in that society as we wish.

Are the stars out tonight?

2006-12-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

"It'll happen when you least expect it."

"When you meet the right person, you'll know."

Two of the eyeroll-inducing cliches most frequently emitted by the well-meaning and happily married.

But what are cliches except truth wrapped in overfamiliar phases.

I wasn't expecting it, then I met him and I knew.

That was in September and we got married last month, Alhamdulilah.

We sat side by side on the floor of the mosque. Recited our vows. The simple words that change everything. What was written, cannot be erased.
The air was heavy with the weight of the future. In this life and the next.

Breaking again

2006-11-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry there hasn't been much new content here for a while, but it's for a really good (and happy reason).

Insha Allah, I will be back soon.

What Rape Is

2006-10-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

And so another "learned man of Islam" opens his mouth and embarrasses us all.

The man in question is Sheikh al-Hilali of Australia and he has been giving us his views on rape being the fault of the women, complete with tasteful meat and cat metaphors.

Yet the "she was asking for it" mentality is surprisingly wide spread, across all sections of society.

I had a conversation once with a male acquaintance. He had heard about a girl being raped while on her way out on a Saturday night. He felt that since the girl was obviously looking for sex, she shouldn't feel too bad about the attack.

To which I replied "So how would you feel if that was your Mother? She obviously likes sex too, otherwise you wouldn't be here".

The silence was beautiful.

In such a debate, awash with various women-as-objects metaphors, something is always forgotten: What the act of rape actually entails.

Think what must occur during a rape, the physical brutality of unwanted sexual intercourse, the fear the victim feels, the violence inflicted on them, the total absence of mutual enjoyment.

Does anyone ever ask for that?

Eid Mubarak!

2006-10-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

Insha Allah you all had a wonderful Ramadan. Thank you so much for all your kind wishes.

May all our good deeds be accepted and inspire more good actions for the coming year, Insha Allah.

Normal blogging service will be resumed very soon, Insha Allah!

Retreating for Ramadan

2006-09-23T15:47:00.000-07:00

So it is Ramadan already. It stretches before us like a body of water. Water we have to cross to take us to somewhere more beneficial and we have to dive in and submerge ourselves, keep focused on our aim of pleasing Allah Subhana Wa T'Ala and limit distractions.

As part of this, I will be going on a blogging break. Ramadan Kareem to all who read this blog. May Allah Subhana Wa T'Ala reward our efforts and give us strength.

When standing out is outstanding

2006-09-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

Following my previous gloomy posts, I feel I have to redress the balance somewhat and talk about the positive side of living in a minority Muslim community.

Alhamdulilah, where I live, we are truly blessed with a small, ethnically mixed and thriving community. So-called "extremism" doesn't have a place here. I have yet to hear a Khutbah that I would be embarrassed to have my family or non-Muslim friends listen to.

Whether you are greeting someone in person, over the phone or via text or email, you always say Salaam Alaikum.
Everyone is brother or sister here. I have friends from Muslim majority countries who find that strange. Here it feels natural, we are few, we feel a greater bond to each other.

A major plus point of wearing hijab is that easy identification we can make. You see another muhijabi and you will smile and exchange salaams, even if you don't know them, there is that connection there.

Recently the sisters held a big iftar to raise funds for Lebanon. The venue was packed with sisters of all backgrounds and ethnicities and just about every style of dress and hijab imaginable. We prayed together, made du'a together and then all shared the delicious food each sister had brought. With everyone united for the purpose of pleasing Allah, it was like a tiny glimpse of Jannah.

Somewhere In Between - Part Two

2006-09-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

"converts, especially white converts, are not usually going to win a lot of love, either from our birth society or from the Islamic community itself"

-DA

Do you ever read something and it so perfectly encapsulates something, you're left thinking "I wish I'd written that"?

Anyway, I wrote my last post and had a good whinge and was stunned as always by the nice comments. Seriously, no troll-like types at all.

When people ask me about being Muslim, I always break into a massive smile, because to me, it's wonderful, in so many ways which are hard to describe.

Which is all very well, because there are times when it's very, very lonely.

You are Muslim. Your friends and family are not. No matter how well they might accept it, the fact remains that they would rather you weren't Muslim. That hurts. To have a big part of you your loved ones wish wasn't there. Plus, it is a whole range of experiences you can't share with them.

As for the Islamic community, there is the divide caused by different cultures, the fact that you will be overburdened with friendly advice on how to live your life by people who don't really know you, and they don't really know you because of the attitude that everything of your pre-Islam life is to be locked in a big box marked "Do Not Open".

Which is a ludicrous attitude. Especially as some people have very real reminders of their past life (i.e children) which cannot be so easily boxed away.

Besides which, those experiences, that life brought you to this point. Allah is the best of planners, Alhamdulilah.

Islam is a journey and for a convert, it usually means treading your own path.

Somewhere In Between

2006-09-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

Today I travelled to another city to attend a one day course for work.

After the course finished, I had some time left before my train was due, so I thought I would go to the mosque. Asr was nearly due and I wanted to go somewhere quiet and read the Quran. The more I thought about the idea, the more appealing it became.

I called Directory Enquiries and got the number of a local mosque. I rang the number. No answer. I passed a Shalwar Khalmeez shop with a Muslim name, I went in, gave my Salaams and asked if they knew where the mosque was. Of the five ladies in the shop, one returned my Salaams. I asked where the mosque was. They looked at me like I had asked for a bacon sandwich. "It's the other side of town".

I left the shop and I felt saddened by their rudeness. I'm starting to have doubts about going to this mosque, from the ladies' reaction, it could well be somewhere women aren't allowed/encouraged to go. I passed by a university, usually a good place to find a prayer room. It was closed. The shopping centre didn't have a prayer room either. It's getting late, I decide to try and catch an earlier train.

The timetables are located on a gloomy quiet platform. A gaggle of teenage boys are nearby.
I hear the word "Waki"(wannabe/white Pakistani) and with a sinking feeling, know they are talking about me. One actually walks over, pretending to look at the timetable, so he can check that I am indeed, white.
He returns to his friends and I hear the words "P*ki Lover". That would be about me too, then. Since my indignation would just feed their obnoxious behaviour, I walk away. I think that if I did have a Pakistani husband standing with me, they would have probably kept their opinions to themselves. Cowards.

I've had enough now. Alhamdulilah, there's a train that I can catch. As the city slides away from me, I feel relieved.

The stereotype of the Muslim woman is that we are isolated from society, either through choice, or due to the stereotypical image of the tyrannical, domineering Muslim man.

The sad fact is that, so much of society makes you feel uncomfortable, it's easy to stay in your comfort zone. It's annoying not being able to find somewhere to pray. The stares make me feel weary. I can tell myself that it's good dawah, it's good for us to be representing Muslim women in a positive way and it's good for people to see a convert.

Sometimes, I just feel so tired. Tired of explaining, being made to justify myself to people who view me with suspicion anyway. Several times, I've walked onto a train carriage and people have not just moved seats, but moved carriages. When I wear abaya, I know the nasty looks will increase as I'm viewed as not only a Muslim, but one who needs to go back to their own country.
I'm tired of explaining to both Muslims and non-Muslims that no, I didn't convert for marriage.

I think many converts are torn about whether to carry on living in their country of birth or to move to a Muslim majority country.

I don't belong here anymore, but where do I go next?

The Plague

2006-09-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

"But for all these great powers he's wishful like me
To be back where the dark Mourne sweeps down to the sea."
William Percy French

It has been years since I have been to the Mountains of Mourne and yet they remain the most beautiful place I have ever seen.

Many poems and songs have been written about them, countless pictures painted, all of which cannot describe the awesome sight of those imposing dark peaks sweeping down into the water below them.

It is hard to reconcile such beauty with the ugliness that was (and in some places, still is) found in other parts of Northern Ireland. An ugliness that can only come from seething hatred, bigotry, death, and most of all, fear. Identical streets side by side, divided by walls of concrete and steel, all sharing a love of flags and painting kerb stones. The flags, painted kerbstones and murals not a decoration, but a reminder of who you are, who they are, why you should hate them and stick, stick, stick to your own kind, or else end up stuck to the ground in some alleyway in a pool of your own blood.

Despite this, the Northern Irish, like those in the South of Ireland are known for their friendliness. Which makes the events of the Troubles (the stoicism and dry humour of the people evident in giving several decades of sectarian fighting a name which makes it sound a minor disturbance at a county show,)even more inexplicable.

Attempts are made, to explain, to understand, to justify. Discussion of the injustices experienced by Catholics and the insecurity felt by Protestants.

The truth is the Troubles happened because people wanted it to. Over 3000 people are dead as a result of the blood lust of a minority. Many more have been maimed. The numbers of lives wasted in some way by these events is incalculable.

Whatever the starting point, it was the terrorists, both Loyalist and Republican and those who gave them succour who maintained the conflict. The terrorism perpetuating itself as a classic example of the cycle of violence

Why? Power, money and for some people, sheer sadism.

What power, money and a love of bloodshed all have in common is that they are addictive. You can never have too much money or power. If you think it's an acceptable tactic to kill people, does it matter how many? The justification can always be found later and as Stalin said: "A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic".

Yes, there were the young and idealistic who were quickly bled to the machine by those who seemed to run all the operations but took none of the risks, but the main motives are those outlined above.

In a small place like Northern Ireland, it's nice to be a big fish. The ideology of terror soon providing a facade for some unashamed gangsterism. For while the Loyalist and Republican movements were supposed enemies, they could very amicably divide sources of protection money. The money involved was huge. Enough for all the latest weaponry from Russia/South Africa and to keep you in nasty gold jewellery and child maintenance payments. Certainly more then you would ever make working legitimately.

While the gangster activities continue, terrorist attacks have largely diminished, as the Peace Process shakily proceeds.

What I cannot understand is why it has taken over thirty years to get to this point.
So many wasted lives. As Bono put it: "All the folks the rest of us won't get to know".

In Islam, we believe that on Judgement Day, the Earth itself will be asked about the deeds it has witnessed. What a tragedy that one of the most beautiful parts of the planet Allah has given us has seen so much wickedness.

Photograph found via Google on Flickr. I couldn't find any details of who took it, if this changes, I will post them here.

The Good Stuff

2006-08-30T15:05:00.000-07:00

Milk and cookies are great. They must be one of the most satisfying snack food combinations available.

I think it's good to find pleasure in things, no matter how inconsequential they are.

People who upset you are rarely worth getting upset over

2006-08-27T04:19:00.000-07:00

People can upset you in two ways: intentionally or unintentionally.

Being hurt unintentionally is usually caused by a person being thoughtless and not realising how something would affect you. If this is the case, that person needs to be told, in a calm manner, exactly why their behaviour has upset you.
Hopefully this will resolve the situation.
Unless, the person fails to recognise how their behaviour has troubled you , or worse still, the person doesn't seem to care.

Someone who intentionally upsets you usually has a strong motive, and that motive is often revenge.
So try to discover what has caused such rancour. Did you wrong this person in someway? If so, is it possible to rectify the situation by apologising/explaining?
Was the action taken by that person in proportion to the upset they felt?

If this person does not want to return to being on good terms with you, the behaviour was completely uncalled for, or they do not care that they have made you unhappy, then take immediate steps to distance yourself from this person.

The people in our lives have a lot of power over us. If there are people in your life who are abusing this power and making you unhappy, take it away from them.

Yes, you may have once been so close and have lots of happy memories. You can still have those memories, just accept that having this person in your life is no longer a good thing.

Taking such a decision may result in a drastic shrinking of your social circle, but it is far less stressful to have a few friends who bring you happiness, then a dozen who cause you sorrow.

That is why the people who upset you are rarely worth getting upset over. If they genuinely care for you and are sorry, then rather then get upset, it's better to discuss the matter with that person and avoid any repetition.

If they do not care for you, they are not worth your tears or your time.

Time is finite, don't waste yours on people who don't deserve it.

Blogger dance of rejection

2006-08-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

Blogger are currently offering some new fancy beta thing. How nice for them. However, this means that I can't get to my Dashboard unless I sign in, attempt to sign up for the beta version and then am politely rejected as "one or more of your blogs cannot be moved over".

This happens every time I want to see my Dashboard and that's quite a lot now I've been trolled into having comment moderation on.

Enough with your teasing ways Blogger, it is most unseemly!

The camouflage of charity

2006-08-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

Now that there is a supposed ceasefire, there are discussions about the money needed to rebuild Lebanon and where this money should come from.

In twee glass and china shops everywhere, there are signs with various variations on the theme of "You break it, you pay for it".

If you destroy something, there are consequences. Unless of course, you are the state of Israel. Then, there are only justifications. No apologies, no reparations, no hope for those suffering.

Unless Israel and the world is made to see that this destruction is wrong and unacceptable, Lebanon will never be safe, so what use is any charity money?

The shifting of the situation in Lebanon to just another charitable cause masks the injustice that has occurred there.

Lebanon has been violated and what the world is doing is just handing it make up to hide the injuries, the trauma, while murmuring "There, there. I'm sure Israel didn't mean for all this to happen. They're very nice really. You must have done something to upset them....."

The bad words and good words

2006-08-10T02:26:00.000-07:00

I have been having problems recently with someone posting persistently abusive and anti-Islamic comments on my blog.

Despite the fact that this is my blog, I will write what I want and delete whatever I want, the person feels very slighted about having their comments deleted.

To spare other people having to read the comments, I've switched the comment moderation on.

This commenter has a female pseudonym and their diatribes, focused on how they feel Islam treats women and hijab blah, blah,blah, because they care about women and women's dignity so much.

Today that commenter posted that I was a "F***ing Whore". The same insult so often used by men, grasping at something to silence a woman into submission.

Well, I won't be quiet. I enjoy blogging far too much, for the way it allows me to explore my feelings and for the wonderful people it has brought me into connect with (especially you, A.K).

As for the commenter, I truly feel sympathy for you. Please believe that I pray very hard for you, for the hatred which consumes your heart and your life to be lifted.

To anyone else who wants to bring their anti-Islamic pity party to this blog, hear this:

I am Muslim. Insha Allah, I will remain within the faith of Islam until my last breath leaves my body and beyond.

Becoming Muslim is the best thing I have ever done. The joy and peace my faith gives me is immense and words cannot adequately describe it.

I love the Prophet (pbuh) more then anyone who has ever walked the earth. I love him (pbuh). I love the Companions, I love the Mothers of the Believers (May Allah be pleased with them all) I love the Qur'an I love the Sunnah.

I love the changes that serving Allah has brought into my life, all the questions it has answered, all the fears it has eased.

So please Allah, nothing, nothing, no comment you make, no link you post, no insult you use will change any of this. All it will do is strengthen my faith, make me turn to Allah even more.

La ilaha il Allah, Muhammad-ur-Rasool-Allah

The power of Alhamdulilah

2006-08-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

One of the most used words by Muslims is Alhamdulilah, which means All praise to Allah or put even more simply: Thank God.

Alhamdulilah is probably one of the words converts learn first too. It has the advantage of being comparatively easy to pronounce and it can be used in many situations.

There is something very satisfying about saying Alhamdulilah, it's phonetics are soothing, to say it is like exhaling deeply.

As well as a word of praise, it's one of reassurance and remembrance.

Alhamdulilah. Thank You. For all the blessings I remember, for all the blessings I forget and more importantly, I thank You for Your existance, for Your Light and Guidance. Your perfection and permanance beyond my understanding as well as the beauty of Your creation that I can witness and experience.
All praise is due to You. Ameen

Is there a special fruit you can eat to keep gynaecologists at bay?

2006-07-31T12:58:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I mentioned that that people shouldn't dig for conversion stories. Yes, it is understandable that people are curious, but there is an appropriate time and place for such questions.

Just to clarify this point, I would like to state that the examination table in a Gynaecologist's office is never an appropriate place.

I'm sorry if I sound a bit precious, but at the gynaecologists! It's bad enough having to go there without being asked deep and meaningful questions at the same time.
The usual "Are you going away on holiday" patter would have sufficed.

Next time when they ask if I was born Muslim, I will be sorely tempted to say yes.

Freefalling

2006-07-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

So the current hot idea is to have an international peace keeping force in Lebanon.

Would it not be more straight forward to insist that Israel stops trying to bomb it into oblivion?

Besides, Israel doesn't seem particularly fond of having an international presence.

If any other country (except the U.S, of course) behaved like this, there would be immediate sanctions and stern condemnatory faces all round. Whereas Israel, ever the spoilt child of the international scene, is allowed to throw it's toys out of the pram in any manner it so chooses, no matter what the effect or body count.

However, neither are Hezbollah, or their paymasters much of a shining hope for the Middle East.

Both sides have an ultimate aim in diametric opposition to each other. An aim which will never be fully realised due to the mere fact of the other's existence.

So all that leaves is spilt blood and blood doesn't cleanse, it congeals, providing nothing more than a stench and a surface for infection to flourish.

To all those who like to quote the Qur'an out of context:

2006-07-22T02:46:00.000-07:00

There are many quotes I could use, but this sums it up best:

"It may be that Allah will grant love and friendship between you and those who you (now) hold as enemies. For Allah has power (over all things); and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Allah forbids you not, with regards to those who fight you not for (your) Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for Allah loves those who are just.

Allah only forbids you with, regard to those who fight you for (your) Faith, and support others in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and protection). It is such that turn to them (in these circumstances), that do wrong."
Surah 60 7-9

Any other "selective quoters", I will be deleting your comments as they are the same boring, tedious arguments and just show how much you've missed the point of my last post, which is that the daily practice of Muslims is non-violent and impacts minimally on those around them.

Everyone in moderation

2006-07-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

After reading Abu Sinan's post about the "Good Muslim", I was thinking about the current phrase "Moderate Muslim".

Extremism is a much disparaged quality. Couple that word with Islamic and you have the media "Threat to Society" standby for when they get bored of ~~making up lies~~ writing about immigrants.

Muslim minorities are warned against Islamic extremism, as if it were some kind of narcotic we might all get addicted to:
"It all started as a bit of fun.... saying things were Haram and calling Non-Muslims Kafir, I tried to stop but I couldn't....I just wanted more and more... soon Hizb Ut Tahrir wasn't hard core enough for me... then I met this guy who said I would go to Jannah guaranteed if...

To prevent this from happening, and to ensure we are tolerant, well-integrated members of society, our caring politicians advise us to be "Moderate Muslims", whatever one of those is.

A better idea of what this means could be found in the words of a moderate Muslim
"I'm a 'moderate' Muslim. I don't pray five times a day, I drink the odd glass of wine".*

So a 'moderate Muslim' is really a non-practicing or nominal Muslim. So it would appear that our religion has so much of a negative effect on secular society that it is better if we don't practice it.

But who believes in Moderate Muslims/Islam anyway? Google the term and the results consist of Daniel Pipes and his equally Islamophobic ilk, saying the simple fact is we Muslims are all bloodthirsty animals and thus could never be anything other then violent extremists.

The real question is why, as Muslims, should we be trying to please people who will never be pleased with us until we leave Islam.

Praying, fasting, reading the Qur'an, going to the masjid, growing a beard, following rules of Islamic dress. These things and others are very important to Muslims, but actually impact very little on other people.
If someone is offended or threatned by such actions, then surely it is them who needs to learn tolerance of others?

*Saira Khan, Marie Claire, August 2006

2006-07-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Great Dictator - You tube style

You Tube really is a treasure trove of bizarre goodness.

While looking for something else entirely, I came across this.
Oddly affecting and relevant too.

Dark Heart

2006-07-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

As long as the sun lights the day,
And as long as the moon lights the night,
I'll pray for the strength to fight thine enemy.
The One who choses darkness over light.

Dark heart by Bomb the Bass

These are dark times we are experiencing.
May Allah protect and guide us all.

Offensive and really offensive

2006-07-11T14:58:00.000-07:00

Offensive: Apparently Materazzi called Zidane, "the son of a terrorist whore' before adding 'so just f*** off' for good measure,"*

Really Offensive:The subsequent onslaught of articles talking about Zidane's "dark side" and his "demons from the past".
Yes, his family were poor and from abroad, but from the tone of some news reports you would think he was a subhuman raised by wolves. However, he is Arab, so it's obviously acceptable to talk about him in such terms.

*"Son of a terrorist whore" is a actually a really poor insult. Surely someone can't be a terrorist and a whore? I thought being a terrorist wouldn't leave much time for street-walking on the side.

...Because Ali didn't burn her dinner....

2006-07-09T17:27:00.000-07:00

...Italy won. Sigh.

I wanted France to win, especially after hearing they had a fellow convert on the team.
Alas, it was not to be. I won't blame Zidane. I'm not excusing his behaviour, but whatever Marco Materazzi said, it must have been something pretty heinous to receive such a reaction.

The dazed reaction of the French team following the Italian victory underlines the reality of tired legs not doing quite enough to win.

It has not been a World Cup of outstanding teams, although there has been some amazing football.

Best Match: Argentina v Mexico
Best Goal: Joe Cole v Sweden
Best Celebration: Mauro Camoranesi's post match, on pitch haircut.

No major tournament until the European Championships in 2008, no Olympics until then either - what's a sofa-loving sports fan meant to do until then?!

The Soldier's Song

2006-06-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

No one cares about soldiers.

The whole point of soldiers is to be the necessary fodder, expendable in order to achieve the desired aim.

No one cares about them when they are alive and when they are dead they care even less.
A "dignified" funeral. Crocodile tears from politicians. All that is left is the anguish from the family as they realise their child died for nothing.

Apparently Israel cares for it's soldiers. Except it doesn't really. Israel cares for it's pride, showing it's might and using any reason to treat the Palestinans like ants under a magnifying glass.

You cannot care about something which you do not value. When something is priced in blood, the real cost is far greater then that.

The Islamic FAQ

2006-06-25T15:44:00.000-07:00

These are just some of the questions I have been asked (New stupid questions will be added to the list) :

"Do you go to sleep in your hijab?"

"Aren't you hot wearing all that?" (asked many, many times).

"Does your hijab have to be blessed by a priest?"

"Will you be having an arranged marriage?"

"Can you still have children?"

"Why isn't your hijab black?"

"Can you still get married?"

"Haven't you read the Bible?"

"Why have you betrayed your Christian roots?"

"Why can't you be a Buddhist instead? At least that's a peaceful religion"

"But I thought you were a feminist?"

"You're not going to become one of those suicide bombers are you?"

"How come Muslims are so bitter?"

"How can you marry someone without sleeping with them first?"

Finally the prize for most offensive question goes to:

"Are there many white Muslims so you don't have to marry a black man?"

"Aren't you the wrong colour to be a Muslim?"

"So if you can't drink or have boyfriends, what do you do for fun?"

Conversion Stories: Part One

2006-06-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

The number one question I get asked, even more then if I wear my hijab in the shower (really!), is phrased in two different ways :"So what made you convert to Islam? (this is how non-Muslims phrase it)and "What was it that made you decide to convert to Islam (Muslim phrasing).

Whenever I get asked this question, it is a massive struggle not to emit an outward groan to match my inward one. As I get asked this All. The. Time.

For Muslims, they are genuinely happy with me. For some there is also the political implication of a westerner rejecting that way of life. This is because they think Western life is all wine, orgies and wearing mini skirts. This is no more true then the idea that the Middle East is a haven of correct Islamic living.

From non-Muslims, the automatic assumption will be that I've converted because I married a Muslim, like there could be no other reason why anyone would want to "do that to herself" (that's what one of my Indian Christian colleagues demanded to know when she saw me in hijab). Then, I always get treated to the religious background of the person asking the question. Which I didn't actually ask them about, because I'm not interested. People's religious beliefs are their own business.

Which, for me is the crux of the matter. No one takes the decision to convert lightly, it is a heavy decision, with a massive impact both pre and post conversion. I won't tell people this, because often I don't know them well, yet this is the first question they've asked after "What is your name?"

This means, that people are often not satisfied when I've told them, saying there must be more to it then that. Well, I make no apologies if my story doesn't meet their dramatic high standards. I've told as much as I feel comfortable with.

For those who crave other people's drama, I have to disappoint you by saying most conversion stories often follow a similar pattern: Person meets Muslim in varous capacity (work, school e.t.c), talks to person about Islam, reads about Islam/meets other Muslims, is surprised that Islam is not what they thought it was, becomes convinced by Islam, converts.

So next time you meet a convert/revert, resist that overwhelming temptation to ask them why they converted. Remember that they get asked that question on an almost daily basis. Finding something interesting does not actually make it any of your business.

If they want you to know, they will tell you.

I can see you...

2006-06-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

... really I can, thanks to this stats counter I saw on Forsoothsayer's blog.

So I know who some of my readers are, Mozambique is Ali, Romania is Alina and I know who a few of the Egyptian readers are.

As for the other people from France, the U.K and other places, the comments are open to everyone, whether you have a blogger id or not. So feel free to say hello and how you came here.

The Gift of Unity

2006-06-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

There is a lot written on the differences amongst Muslims. Different madhabs, sects, ethnicities, organisations.

Instead of being a proof of the universality of Islam, these differences are used by some as evidence of their superiority. Or more frequently, of other's inferiority.

There was an advert recently, on one of the Islamic channels, for an Umrah/Hajj package. The voice over stated "Five times a day, all Muslims turn towards the same place", while the picture showed a montage of different Muslims all turning towards Makkah.

It's something easy to take for granted, to not appreciate this as yet further evidence of Allah's grace.

Five times a day, a sizable (and growing) chunk of the world's population, perform the same actions, speaking the same language. At any given time, I can stand on my prayer mat and know there are people all over the world doing the same.

Now that is real unity. It is something very precious that Allah has given us, and we should cherish it and remain mindful of it, instead of squandering this blessing in the pursuit of material gain.

May Allah guide and protect us all.

This Life

2006-06-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

This is the only life we get. Over six billion people on the planet, so many possibilities and perspectives, we will only experience one.

You are your own point on the compass, no matter how close you may get to another person.

This body is the only body you will ever have. Depending on how you relate to your body, how comfortable you feel within it, you may feel like it's an extension of your inner self, your personality made flesh, or you may feel like "The Ghost in the Shell".

People mature, are marked or nourished by experience, but the mental traits are the same. The blueprint cannot be altered.

Being you is mandatory.

The Girl on the Train

2006-06-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

She is about five or six years old. Very pretty. Then she opens her mouth and I can see most of her teeth have been removed. The teeth left look decayed. She is full of childish exuberance and she can't sit still. Her mother yells and curses at her to sit down and then throws a bag of crisps at her to keep her quiet. The little girl sits and attempts to eat her crisps. It is not easy, as her gums are not strong enough to break them, so she has angle them between her remaining teeth.

I'm trying really hard not to stare. First at the little girl's mouth, then at her mother for speaking to her child in such a foul way and then my eyes go back to the pathetic spectacle of the little girl. Most of the crisps are on the floor as she hasn't been able to chew them properly. I look out of the window and I want to cry. It still shocks me how some people treat their children.

It's a football thing.

2006-06-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

So the World Cup is nearly upon us. It may be a heinously over-commercialised hype-fest, but it also provides an excuse to sit on the sofa all day long watching matches.

Any or all of the following things will happen:

At least one highly controversial refereeing decision.
A match between two not very fancied teams will turn out to be the blood-and-thunder, most entertaining match of the tournament. The sort of match you start off half watching, then end up sat right in front of the T.V unable to tear yourself away.
During any Brazil matches, the T.V cameras will pan on to any attractive women in the crowd, while the commentator prattles on about "Samba Spirit".
Most football players will not know the words to their national anthems. Those that do, will sing loudly and out of tune, ala Marcelo Salas.

One of the worse things about World Cups is that the TV is full of random people spouting nonsense about football.

An example of this was an extremely irritating American (who called football, soccer, so therefore should not be allowed to talk about it as he obviously knows nothing about the game), who was saying how the best team in the tournament rarely wins the World Cup. This is completely missing the point. The reason why tournaments are so great, is the unpredictability of them.
Football is not about being better on paper, otherwise Spain would have far more worth stealing in their trophy room then the carpet. Football really is about having 90 minutes in which anything can happen and having the desire and ingenuity to make the game go your way.

What I really hate about the whole "best teams" argument is the elitism of it. If you are not a fashionable team, you don't deserve to win. Sadly with the money situation in football, if you are not a fashionable team, you usually can't afford to win. One the reasons the Greek victory in Euro '04 was so enjoyable, was the upset it caused to football snobs.

The whole passion argument and the idea of the crowd lifting their team to excel themselves, is not something your average football snob would understand anyway. This World Cup, they'll be wearing a Brazil shirt, the last one, they wore a France shirt (until they didn't make it past the group stages , oh dear!) and before that, an Italia shirt.

Here's hoping the team who wants it most, gets it.

Motorcars: A Metaphorical Tale

2006-06-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

So after a lot of thinking and weighing up the options fully, you've decided to buy a car. You've wanted to buy a car for ages and you've finally found the one for you. It's a silver Mercedes and you love it. It is a pleasure to drive and you love being seen with it. In short, it is everything you could want in a car.

However as time passes, you decide you don't like the Mercedes anymore. You want a Jeep instead. So, do you think carefully about your decision and decide you want to keep the Mercedes or do you take Mercedes back to the shop for some else to buy and enjoy.

You do neither of those things. You decide that it's the Mercedes that has to change. So you set about pummelling it with power tools, welding gear and scrap metal. However much you try, the Mercedes doesn't become a Jeep and the more force you put on it, the more of a mess it becomes.

Until all you're left with is a wreck in place of something that once made you very happy.

There are some things which cannot be changed.

All Change

2006-05-31T06:54:00.000-07:00

So I have a dashing new template and the Girl's Club has a new home and look.

The new template is because I was bored (again!) and fell in love with this one.

The new home for the Girl's club is because someone deleted our blog. Yes, some silly person in cyberspace with a grudge against one of our members decided to delete our entire blog.

However the lovely Ahmed (backtick) had our post stored and with the help of him and Google's cache, you can find most of the old stuff in the new place!

Isn't technology marvellous!

Petty Fascinations Part One: Yulia Tymoshenko's Hair

2006-05-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, women did not have hair styles, they had hairdo's. Hair styles have bounce and vitality. Hairdo's do not move. At all. Hair styling is about drying your hair in a certain way and using a few hair products. Hairdo's are created, or rather, engineered, using a fist full of hair pins, various implements of a blistering temperature and the contents of a can of hairspray so large, it can be used as a battering ram.

Sadly the hairdo is a dying art, although there are a few maintaining the standard. Step forward Yulia Tymoshenko. Since 2002, the Ukrainian politician has worn her hair in an impeccably neat braid, based on a traditional Ukrainian hairdo. Such was the stir this ornate hairdo caused, speculation was rife that the braid was a result of a hair extension. When asked this question publically, Tymoshenko responded by unpinning (see!) her hair, to show that it was all her own. Since then, come rain or revolution, the braid has not shifted, not even a hair out of place.

Pictures obviouisly not taken by me and obtained from BBC News, Pravda, Ukrainian Elle, mosnews.com and The Age.au

Update:
According to this article, Yulia Tymoshenko takes exactly seven minutes every morning to style her hair. Impressive.

Also, if you Google "Yulia Tymoshenko hair", this blog is the 10th result.

The Man from Montenegro, he say Yes.

2006-05-22T05:36:00.000-07:00

0.4% has created a new country. The people of Montenegro have voted Yes to independence, with a 55.4% vote in favour, just 0.4% over the 55% needed for the vote to be valid.

Is this a good thing? I don't know. Something that makes me a bit sad it that one of the main arguements of the yes vote was that an independent Montenegro may be able to gain a quicker entry into the European Union. Especially as the Serbian version of Where's Wally (Aren't those Intepol pictures shoddy, no wonder they have been found yet!), which is currently stalling their entry, is showing no signs of coming to an end. While I can see the economic benefits of EU membership for such a small country, I'm uneasy about it being held up as the glittering prize, to be attained at any cost. Also, does EU membership enable a country to be truly independent? The benchmark figure of 55% needed for the referendum vote to be valid was set by: The EU.

I am not a nationalist, but this has been a debate on national identity and it seems strange logic to become a smaller box just to join a bigger one.

Another worry, is that this may cause further instability in the Balkans (Googling that phrase gets over 15000 hits), if Republika Srpska decides that it want independence too.

So what will happen next? Stay tuned for the next episode of the Balkan soap opera.
(P.S that last point is poking fun at the world view of the Balkans, not the region itself)

Good blog here.

New Model Army

2006-05-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

People have very different ideas about what liberation means. Often what is called liberation really means that one type of restriction has disappeared and been replaced by another.

One area which is considered more liberated in modern day society is sex and sexuality.
Modesty or prudishness have been pushed aside by hedonism and comercialism as the frequent refrain of "Sex sells" and meeting the demand of the public is used as justification.

The most visible example of this is the pornographic industry, which has used globalisation and technology to become an ever more profitable business. From being the domain of backstreet shops and mail order companies, porn is now a mainstream product, readily available.

Does anyone ever wonder where all these porn actors/models come from? There are so many of them it is frightening. So many people are being drawn into such dangerous and damaging work and the numbers of people doing this is increasing. Can there really be that many people who want to earn their living this way? It's almost like there's some sort of conscription at work, drafting people in to provide fodder for the industry.

I am against pornography, both as a Muslim and a feminist. Those who disgree with this stance should ask themselves if they would like someone they care about to appear in such things. The answer is almost certainly no.

The desire for porn to be seen as acceptable is a very insiduous trend and not just for those who appear in it. Like narcotics, like tobacco, like gambling, porn is another accquired desire that is destructive both for the user and those around them.

It degrades both the user and the porn actor by removing dignity and converting human intimacy into the lowest common denominator of temporary gratification, encouraging people to view each other as objects be to be utilised then discarded.

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

2006-05-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

This is quite an easy post to write because I love Egypt. It's true that of my many years on earth, I've only spent seventeen days in Egypt but still, I love the place and frequently dream of returning there.

I think one of the main reasons I loved being in Egypt was because Egypt is a Muslim country (I use that term to mean that Egypt is a country with a Muslim majority). The first time I went there I was a shiny, new Muslim, still in the closet to my family and most of my friends and work colleagues. The feeling of relief at being somewhere where having to pray five times a day is the norm rather than a oddity, at not having to consantly explain all the time was amazing. It felt like I could inhale after holding my breath.

Yet amidst all the joy at being amongst other Muslims in Egypt, hearing the athan, indulging in muhijaba-friendly shopping and alternating between embarrassment and pleasure at people's delight in meeting a real-live convert, there is one memory that stands out.

I am on horseback by the pyramids looking out across the city, when the athan for Mahgrib starts. Like an aural wave, it swept across the city as the different mueddhins made their calls. As I heard it, one word came into my head: "How?" How can a country this religious be ruled by people devoid of any goodness, spiritual or otherwise?

Masha Allah, there are brave people in Egypt doing more then asking questions but are actively fighting for change in Egypt. I am humbled by their efforts. May Allah protect them all.

Technorati tag: googlebombingforalaa

If I only had a brain......

2006-05-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've been at this blogging lark for about four months now. I'm a pretty active blogger and I like to comment a lot on other people's blogs. Yet I was starting to get seriously perturbed by the lack of comments on my blog. Then, whilst looking through my settings I found a load of comments that I needed to publish. You see, I am dense. I did not realise that I actually had to check and put the comments on myself. This is what happens when you select your blog settings when you're half-asleep and don't bother to review them.

So for all the people who have commented and kept commenting:Thank you .

You are all sweeter then I could have ever imagined.

P.S replies to comments coming soon, insha Allah.

My Everchanging Ethnicity

2006-05-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

I am a white girl. Blue eyes and skin the colour of frightened milk. I live somewhere where this complexion is pretty commonplace and so never considered myself as looking at all exotic. Until I wore hijab. Then I became a big question mark for Muslims and Non-Muslims alike.

To some people I look Arab. This prompts lots of questions of "Where are you from?" when I reply I'm from this country, I am asked "So where are your parents from?". One man, who decided I must be from Syria/Lebanon, even asked where my grandparents were from. He must have thought I was using the convert story because I was ashamed of my Arab heritage.

To others, I look all too white, too much like them. My Hijab is a sign of treachery. So I get remarks like: "You're the wrong colour to be Muslim", "Wannabe Pakistani" and recently was accosted by a man on the bus who accused me of betraying my Christian roots, that this country was in danger of becoming an Islamic state and I was helping it happen. To which I replied "Good" and promptly told him to leave me alone and mind his own business.

As I got off the bus, the sun was shining and I knew that it was all worth it, converting to Islam is still the best thing I've ever done. Alhamdulilah.

Mmmmmeme

2006-04-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Alina

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
"The wariness went out of Spade's eyes. He made his eyes dull" The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I'm touching my trusty stepladder.

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
A documentary on Vladamir Putin. He is a very small man.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
01.46

5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
01.47

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Listening to Ciara's album. It's actually pretty good, honest!

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
From my friend's car to my door, was fumbling in my pocket for my house keys.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Alina's blog.

9. What are you wearing?
Pyjamas.

10. Did you dream last night?
No, had a really deep sleep

11. When did you last laugh?
At my friend's house last night

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Really bright yellow paint (Not my choice of colour).Three pictures. One by Wassily Kandinsky, one by Paul Klee and the other by Neil Southmore. All of them are sort of rainbow coloured and I've just realised I've forgotten the names of them all, how shameful.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
A little boy (about eight of nine) sitting all by himself at the train station. I asked him if he was okay and he insisted he was, but he looked so lonely sitting there.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Pretty interesting.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Lady Vengence. Nice slice of Korean darkness.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
New mosque for my city as the current one is far too small.

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
That I haven't grown out of wishing I had magical powers.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
As cheesy as it sounds, world peace is the first thing that springs to mind.

19. Do you like to dance?
I really, really, like to dance.

20. George Bush.
Oh hell no!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I really like the name Nur for a girl as it's simple and has a good meaning.

It's hard picking children's names as you have to find something that suits a child and an adult. The litmus test is this: Can you imagine calling them by this name loudly, in public (as parents frequently have to), without embarrassment. As well as that, I want to give them good Muslim names but they would have to be ones my Mum could pronounce (anything with Kh in is out of the question).

22.Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Ibrahim. Again it has a good meaning and a lovely ring to it.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I consider it everyday.

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
That He is pleased with me.

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Anyone who is interested.

Stop the Traff*kers

2006-04-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

Loanna's story

Loanna was born in Africa. Her mother disappeared when she was very young and so she lived with an elderly woman, who treated her as her own child. Loanna did not attend school, but spent her early childhood looking after the woman.

When Loanna was 13 the woman died. Loanna spent the next few years staying with various friends and sleeping rough.

Some of these 'friends' beat Loanna and forced her to work for them. She was raped by a number of men. She could not go to the Police because she knew they would not help as they only helped rich people.

One day an English man called Stuart stopped to talk to her. He said he could help her and asked if she would like to do domestic work for him in England.

Loanna travelled to England with Stuart. He had all the paperwork for this trip and did all the talking with Immigration officials when they arrived in England.

When she arrived at Stuart's house, Loanna was told that she would be working as a masseuse. She was shocked at this and refused. She was beaten and threatened that she would be arrested if she did not do as she was told.

Loanna was locked in the house and was forced to have sex with up to seven men every day.

After 6 months the house was raided by the police. Loanna was held and sent to a Detention Centre. Stuart visited Loanna in there, threatening her not to tell the truth, or she would be sent back to Africa and killed there by his friends. Loanna was told by friends she made that if she returned to Africa, it was very likely these threats would be carried out, as it was known to have happened to other women who had reported their traffickers and been sent back. The visits were stopped after Loanna revealed the truth, but she still received threatening phone calls, often from people she had never met.

Loanna was eventually released from the Detention Centre and was assisted by the Poppy project. She received counselling for her anxiety and depression and was provided with secure accommodation and support services.

She is still scared to go out alone and worries that she will be found and punished by her traffickers.

Katerina's story

Katarina was a student in Romania. She built up a friendship with a friend of a friend named Alex, who invited her to the UK and told her that she could stay at his house, he would even help her with the air fare.

When she arrived in the UK, Katerina was held prisoner in a flat where she was repeatedly beaten and raped.

Alex told her that she could have her freedom, but she would have to work as a prostitute to pay back the money that he had paid to bring her here. Katerina eventually gave in and began work, paying all of the money she made to Alex.

When she missed one payment she was dragged from the street into the boot of a waiting car. Once again Alex held Katerina prisoner, and once again she was repeatedly raped and beaten. Katerina was forced to return to work as a prostitute for over a year until Alex decided that he would sell her on to some other men. While trying to carry out the transaction Alex was arrested.

Katerina was introduced to the Poppy Project and after providing secure accommodation we referred her to a counselling service. She was given lots of support around coping with her fear of leaving the house and also assisted with access to legal advice and interpreting among many other services. She was supported and guided to enrol in classes and also explored voluntary work.

This was not the end of the ordeal for Katerina. Alex made threats to have her family killed if she cooperated with the police investigation, in addition there were at that time, no laws to prosecute traffickers and Alex walked free.

Although Katerina is happy in Britain she fears for the safety of her family back home as Alex has many connections. She misses her family and would like to go home but believes that she will never be able to return. Her parents have received many anonymous phone calls and she is concerned for the safety of her siblings.

Stories taken from www.poppyproject.org

Human Traffiking is nothing new, like a virus it can adapt and evolve, infesting any society and culture.

Since the fall of communism, there has been a marked increase in women from Russia and Eastern Europe being trafficked in to the West. Most of these women were lured by men they trusted, who promised them a life with better opportunities.

On arrival, these women find that they are actually being sold into sexual slavery. There was a recent media report of an "auction" of two terrified teenage girls taking place in an airport coffee shop.

If the stories, of the "lucky ones", those who escaped are so horrific, imagine the suffering of those who are not so fortunate, those who are trapped in a cycle of fear and abuse.

For more information, go to www.humantraffiking.com. Also, the MTV Europe's Exit Now campaign site give guidance of how to raise awareness in your area and has links to different organisations which help these women.

Cherry Blossom

2006-04-05T16:44:00.000-07:00

Cherry Blossoms seen
Signal the spring's arrival
Under this wide sky.

Picture taken from www.cherenson.com

For the Love of....

2006-03-26T13:36:00.000-08:00

I've just returned from a weekend for converts. As always, a popular topic of conversation is marriage, particularly marriage horror stories. One particular tale (worth reciting with a torch shone upwards, ghost-story telling style) involved a Saudi brother, who on discovering his convert wife had boyfriends in the past, declared that she was "like a public toilet". Obviously the various ayah and hadith about conversion erasing past sins had obviously passed this brother by. Although I'm sure he knew the one about angels cursing until dawn. Just a hunch.

Intention is very important in Islam, yet some Muslims have intentions that are definitely not from the Sunnah. On one of the few times I prayed Dhur in the mosque, it was only me and this elderly sister in the woman's section. We exchange Salaams then come the inevitable questions prompted by my pasty pale face.
"Are you a convert?"
"Yes" I reply, not knowing what was to come after the obligatory Masha-Allah ing
"Would you like to get married?"
Stupid, stupid me: "Yes".
"Ahhh" Sister then proceeds to tell me about two brothers looking for wives.
The first is described as very religious, going to the Mosque five times a day. Of course with my shallow mind I ponder what sort of work he is doing to enable him to get to the mosque on the outskirts of town this often. The second brother is from Iraq. I am told he has a wife there, but after seeing my face hit the carpet am swiftly told that they are divorced. Seeing that I'm not particulary taken with her selection of husbands, the sister is keen to know if I know of any other Muslim converts looking for marriage, when that draws a blank, she asks if I know anyone, maybe just interested in Islam. Don't worry about location, the brothers will move anywhere at all in the country

It was at that point that I left, musing on how a bright shiny passport can be more attractive then anyone's face.

I think it is about time we called this behaviour by it's real name: Prostitution. I'm sorry brothers(and sisters), but if you are willing to marry someone with all that it entails, reducing the beautiful mercy from Allah (swt) of marriage to a business transaction, solely to get a particular passport then you are prostituting yourself.

Except that usually, both the customer and the prostitute are aware of the transaction taking place. That in these cases, there is usually a poor duped spouse, often new to the deen (how often have you read on e-groups "I've been Muslim for five minutes and I'm getting married to Brother Fromabroad next week") makes this all the more despicable.

We must stop this, Insha Allah. It is a disgusting, immoral practice which debases us all and it's about time we spoke out against it as a community and take active measures to prevent it.

Posting to Pimp

2006-03-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

My blogging tentacles have stretched even further as I've just posted on the Muslim Movie Review blog. It's very new and has been started by the lovely Otowi. Feel free to email her if you would like to join.

Inner Muslim, Outer Muslim

2006-03-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

When I started this, I thought that I would write a lot about Islam and being Muslim on it.
However, when I think of stuff I want to blog, it's not usually related to those matters and I was wondering why.

I came to the conclusion that because, at the moment, this isn't a very personal blog (I don't blog about family, work e.t.c.), anything Islamic would be related to world events.

At the moment I can't relate to those events. I can't understand why Sunni are killing Shia and vice versa in Iraq, how grown men can think it is at all acceptable to kidnap a woman and excute her just for her profession, how (admittedly very few) British Muslims can hold banners saying they want another 7/7 and just the constant lies told about our religion by people who really haven't got a clue. You can give me the reasons behind these things but I don't understand them.

Most of all I can't relate these perceptions of Islam to my daily practice of the religion. Maybe it's because, Alhamdulilah I have a comfortable life but these things make no sense to me as a Muslim.

I tried to find a better site for the third link, but all I could find on Google were a ton of anti-islamic sites praising her. I rest my case.

The Unidentified

2006-02-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

Last year, I was sitting on a train, reading a newspaper when I read that National Missing Persons Helpline was in severe financial trouble. I guess the reasons for this is that NMPH works with a lot of people who are on the margins of society such as the homeless, substance abusers and the mentally ill. Also, the whole concept of having a loved one go missing is something that most people think will never happen to them and therefore they don't get many donations.

So when I get home I decide to go online to donate money to them. When the homepage comes up, a small heading marked "Unidentified" caught my attention. I clicked on it. A page comes up stating that this section contains details of people who have been found dead and they have not been able to identify the body. Then you are warned that this material may be disturbing to some viewers. An internal debate ensues: morbid curiosity versus not wanting to upset myself. Morbid curiosity won.

I'm not sure what I expected to see. Maybe just a few recent cases, but in fact there are many listed. People of all ages. Some found over ten years ago. The causes of death are varied too. There are suspicious circumstances and suspected suicides along with those who have died of natural causes. The clothes the people were found in are described and it's clear that a lot of these people were well dressed, took good care of themselves.
What stuck in my mind were the images. The NMPH have people trained in recontructions and visual impressions in order to show what the person looked like. These images were stuck in my head for a long time afterwards.

It seems almost unimaginable, that someone can die without anyone knowing who they are. We all come from families, have friends, colleagues, neighbours. How in a "modern" society can people die and not be unidentified? What does that say about our society and how little we care for the people in it? You imagine that if you died, you would have a funeral, be laid to rest by those who care for you, who would be able to mourn for you. For reasons unknown to me, these people haven't had that. I'm not sure which is worse, that you can be born into a world where no one cares that you've died, or that someone you care about can go missing and you spend your life waiting for them to return, wondering where they are , when in fact they are dead, lying in a mortuary somewhere.

That was the the first and last time I visited that area of the website. I can't bring myself to go back there. It makes me think too much of the things we take as a given in our lives and too angry that this can happen in a supposedly civilised nation.

Most of all, I feel so sad for those people. They have been denied in death something we all take for granted in life: an identity and the dignity that comes with it.

The Winner Takes it All

2006-02-23T17:55:00.000-08:00

So the result was:

Gold: Shizuka Arakawa
Silver: Sasha Cohen
Bronze: Irina Slutskaya

The exact reverse of what I predicted, so I know nothing. In fact I said that Slutskaya would do something special, it turned out that something special was to skate really averagely.

I'm so pleased Arakawa skated so beautifully. She is clever too. I'm sure she watched Sasha fall and thought "I'll do less complicated jumps but make sure I skate clean", which was a fantastic tactic.
What makes the women's event so special to me is those moments when it looks so graceful, so spellbinding and yet so effortless, you catch your breath. In past years the Women's event became dominated by teenagers, but the way Arakawa skated is something that comes with maturity, she skated like a woman and won.

In a youth obsessed world, it's good to see at least one instance where teenage doesn't equal better.

Just the Gala to look forward to on Friday, I can't wait!

I could be wrong...

2006-02-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

My predictions for the Women's Figure Skating are:

Gold: Irina Slutskaya
Silver: Sasha Cohen
Bronze: Shizuka Arakawa

Sasha Cohen is in fabulous form, but I think Irina will really go for it as this is her last chance of an Olympic title. Plus, she has the chance of being the first Russian woman to win gold in this discipline.

I love watching the Japanese skaters though. They have this ethereal quality to their skating which is just beautiful to watch. Also, they do not punch their fists in the air after completing their programme (I'm looking at you, Cohen), which is horribly unladylike behaviour.

One to watch for the future is Elene Gedevanishvili from Georgia. To get the correct spelling of her name, I had to go here. If you click on the names, you get a profile of the competitor. Most skaters look like they've escaped from a Young Offender's Institution/Orphanage, expect for Sasha Cohen, who in her picture, looks like the sort of girl you hated in school.

More than a Woman

2006-02-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

Tonight saw the final of the Figure Skating Pairs competition in the Olympics. It was a good final, the artistry of the skaters, particularly the Chinese couples were beautiful to watch.

Pairs more than any of the other figure skating disciplines manages to combine grace and fluidity with a speed and althleticism which makes you gasp out loud. Forget the pretty outfits, this is not a safe sport.

The Russian pair Totmianina and Marinin were the favourites to win gold and they nailed a performance which was pretty much flawless. I'll admit, I don't really understand the new scoring system but so far, it seems to have prevented any erratic decisions.

So there was one more couple to skate, Zhang Dan and Zhang Hao. Early in their routine they tried to do a throw quad salchow, which had never been done before in competition. Zhang Dan landed horribly in an awkward splits postition. She stopped skating, obviously in a great deal of pain. The couple went to speak to their coach and then decided to carry on skating, picking up the routine from where they left off. It was a wonderful performance, something that you couldn't quite believe you were seeing. She had clearly been injured and yet was skating as if she was in no pain at all. As soon as they finished Zhang Dan started crying. They won silver, Zhang Dan's knee heavily bandaged while they waited for their results.

It reminded me a lot of Kerri Strug in the 1996 Olympics. I find it awe-inspiring that someone can overcome that much physical pain because they have to compete, they have to. This is their chance and they will not let anything ruin it. It's interesting that both those occasions involved the "weaker sex". I think that woman have a higher pain threshold then man, because of the physical processes we have to go through, therefore women have a better ability to overcome pain then men.

Anyway, I hope that tonight, Zhang Dan is happy with her silver medal and her knee has no long term damage. Insha Allah I'll be cheering them on to win gold in Vancouver.

We are the World, We are the children

2006-02-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know the title of this post is a really awful charity song but I've been watching the Opening Ceremony of the Winter Olympics, so it ties in with the Olympian "let's all get along" sentiment. The usual opening ceremony elements of contempory dance, moving sculptures and fireworks were all present. Also involved was a Ferrari, lots of blue capes, Susan Sarandon and Yoko Ono! Now, Susan Sarandon is a U.N Goodwill ambassador as well as a very talented actress but Yoko....

Another thing that annoys me about opening ceremonies is seeing the athletes entering the stadium Talking On Their Mobile Phones. Look, everyone you care about should either be in the stadium or watching it on t.v, so why not just fully enjoy the moment?

Anyway, I love the Winter Olympics. It's a fabulous excuse to watch sports that you never normally would, like Moguls and then there is all the drama and prettiness of the figure skating.
I just wish it happened more often then every four years.