Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Beyond Bigotry

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages."
Trial judge, Leon Bazile, Loving case

"O Mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you might know each other"
Surah 49:13 Yusuf Ali's translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an.


Interracial relationships still provoke a varied and virulent reaction, encompassing everything from fetishisation to digust. Someone in an interracial relationship may be told that they've sold out, or that they'll have to sacrifice their culture and their way of life. People openly say they don't like them, don't agree with them, would never consider being in one, like it's a radical lifestyle choice.

People talk about these issues, forgetting that interracial relationships are ultimately, just that: relationships. A connection between two people. Communication and compromise are key to an interracial relationship, just as they are to any other relationship.

Mr Outlines and I, we're an interracial marriage. It's a heavy label. It's makes what really was so natural, so obvious (alhamdulilah), sound artificial.

It's not really about race anyway, If I married a Russian, we would both be white but our cultural differences would be just as vast.

I read a lot about the perils of marrying someone from abroad, the attitudes they might have.... such gloom.

I just haven't found it to be like that. Whatever differences we have, there are far more things we have in common. our cultures and manners, something to explore, not something to feel isolated from each other by.

We like to share our culture with each other. We'll discuss history, national quirks, different things all mixed up with personal backstories, sharing our history to build our future together.

Frequently we will say, "In English/Arabic, there is a saying that....."
to which the answer is nearly always "There's the same saying in Arabic/English too".

9 comments:

poetic muslim said...

it all depends on who you marry , I am arab and married to an arab , ( well im not fully arab ) but I just can't stand arabic culture and its backward mantality , but I realize now its the difference of creed thats all thats makes us different .

Haq Islam said...

Salams
I see where you're coming from, its sad that in some instances nevermind diff race marriages, but even diff regions of the same country back home marriages are frowned upon.
Alhumdulillah, these marriages are becoming more and more common place and we seem to be overcoming the problem.

WS

NATASHAAMINA said...

Salaam Safiya :),

I'm Natashaamina and it's the first time I'm on your BLOG.
My boyfriend is African (black) and I'm European (white).Yes,interrecial relationships can enrich you,but you also have to be honest,that sometimes it's really difficult to understand the other's half mentality.It takes some time!However,if you wait and try your best to get the other person,then such relationships can be so good.I'm a better person now,becouse I learned some things from his culture and I use them in my culture :).He does the same.Respecting eachother is the key and if in addition to that you're both Muslim,than the differences can't be that huge.Islam can unite different races and mak each culture even better.

Many greetings :)!

Safiya said...

Salaam Alaikum to all

Poetic Muslim - There is good and bad in all cultures, but whatever is Islamic in a culture is good :)
I hope insha Allah you find peace in your life soon

Haq Islam Walikum salaam, thank you for visiting my blog. Alhamdulilah for the decrease in such prejudices

Natashaamina - Salaam and welcome to my blog. Feel free to email me:
safiyaoutlines@gmail.com


Any other ladies are welcome to email me too.

foreverloyal said...

As-salaamu-alaikum,
I'm "interracially" married as well. Love the blog so far

Shahrzad said...

I think if a russian muslim marry a russian muslim thay will have less conflict that an arab or Iranian or american muslim with a russian. Im geting married to a westerner and he understands me more than an iranian guy. Yet there is cultural difference and different expectations. For best result maybe couples need longer term engagement to work on relationship..

Anonymous said...

Salaam sister, if someone thought they knew your identity, would you prefer that they let you know or keep it to themselves?

Safiya said...

Foreverloyal - Walikum salaam, I love your blog too!

Shahrzad - I think it's important that the couple are allowed to get to know each other in a halal manner before marriage. I'm not a fan of the
"First meeting today, nikah tomorrow" way of doing things.
Mabrouk on your engagement, insha Allah I will make du'as for you.

Anonymous - Walikum salaam. I would be most grateful if you sent your guess to my email address.

I'm sure with the U.K community being quite small that someone would be able to read this and figure out who it is.

I'm not ashamed of anything I write here, but I prefer to be anonymous for now.

Forsoothsayer said...

dude, have u been to canada? people there are all about multicultural relationships! (in the cities) it's like a benneton ad.