Friday, May 04, 2007

Shut you out

I am sick to beyond my own back teeth of reading little internet macho men insult Muslims and particularly Muslim women.

Constantly they cant on about how oppressed and backwards we are, not realising that we do not need or want their contemptuous pity.

Let me spell it out for you:
I am a law abiding, tax paying, hard working citizen of this country, so don't tell me to go back anywhere or imply I am somehow costing you money. I belong here as much as you do and contribute fully to society.

I believe in multiculturalism, not just for Muslims (although we are, actually a multicultural bunch), but for everyone. Diversity and respect for each other will bring us strength, it will make us stronger.

Islam is a beautiful religion, Alhamdulilah. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer them and I accept that you might not want to be Muslim. Contrary to popular belief, forced conversions are forbidden in Islam.

But, back to the haters. I can not help but notice the misogyny that seeps through most anti Muslim diatribes, the disdain that they view Muslim women with. Virtually every single blog I know that is written by a Muslim women on the net either has, or has had comment moderation on due to receiving abuse from Anti-Muslim men. Strange how they seem more hesitant
about stepping up to our brothers.

To all the secular "Muslims"/Arabs/e.t.c who belittle practising Muslims and especially practising Muslim women, shame on you.

Those who insult Islam and Muslims, you may call yourself secularists, pro-Western, or whatever, I call you racist and misogynistic and pity you for your ignorance which you do not seek to remedy, the loathing in your hearts and your cowardice in writing things which you would never dare to say to a Muslim's face.

I seek refuge in Allah swt the All -Knowing, source of all strength.


Natalia said...

I agree with you about the comment moderation bit, but I think you're mis-reading Eteraz.

He's pointing out that religious rules can be twisted to suit anyone's need. Of course, he does it in an entirely unorthodox, even disturbing manner.

But he's a writer, and that's what we do. No?

Anonymous said...

What was he pointing out when he called salafi women "Salafi Whores"?

He's disgusting and Muslims should boycott him. He's really crossed the line with this last piece. How about you start a campaign for Muslims to remove him and from their blogrolls?

Hajar said...

You tell 'em Sister!
I had to turn on my comment moderation for that very reason, Ya Subhanallah!

Safiya said...

Natalia - Does he always have to illustrate the twisting of religious rules in a sexual way though? His recent post on niqabi women was smug and mocking. He should have more respect for his sisters in Islam, and women generally.

Anonymous - He has never been on my blogroll or on the blogroll of any blog I frequent. I think a campaign would just increase his traffic, which is the opposite of what we want.

Hajar - Nice to see you! I had to have comment moderation on for a while too. Had to delete some nasty comments again recently, which is very tedious.

Manal said...

Those very types of people are people who are not only "ignorant" in every way but realistically they are "cowards" in a big way. You see, their ignorance is a combination of fear and stupidity. And when you have that combination, the end result is well......pitiful!!!

People like that are so caught up in what they "want" to believe, instead of trying to educate themselves to be better people so that they are able to "see" the truth.....

Isn't it mentioned in the Qur'an where God states that HE has blinded certain people in the fact that they walk around thinking they are right when in fact they are completely and utterly WRONG!!??I am sorry, I forget what is the exact verse but I know it's there cuz I have read it!:)

I am not exactly sure what this guy said exactly but from the sound of it, he needs to really think twice about what he writes!!!

Safiya said...

Manal - It was lecherous crap, which is bad enough, but then he has to dress it up as some kind of religious analysis, all the while claiming he's some more knowledgable than thou enlightened kind, while the mainstream likes of you and me are just sheep.

Forsoothsayer said...

you know dude...i haven't red the comment in question...but there are many people who aren't ignorant about Islam and still find it misogynist. i am one of them. but i respect those who feel otherwise.

Safiya said...

Forsooth -Firstly, thnak you for your comment.

Can Muslims be misogynists? I would answer yes. As we've seen in many cultures which twist Islamic rules to suit men to the detriment of women.

Is Islam misogynistic? I would answer no. Throughout the Qu'ran men and women are described as equal both in creation and reward (in fact the word man and the words woman are mentioned in the Quran exactly the same number of times).

I would also argue that the Quranic version of the Adam and Eve story is far less harsh on Eve then the Biblical version.

You could argue that the Shariah implements a form of patriarchy, but this is not the same as being misogynist.

Within the hadith, there are several narrations, which are either false, or (more commonly) quoted vastly out of context which would appear anti-women.

Sadly, what both Muslims and non-Muslims alike forget, are the countless hadith where the Prophet (saws) praises women and talks of the deep love he has for the women in his life. One of the people he trusted and consulted most, was his wife Khadija (ra).

I did not want to trot out a load of quotes but I have to finish with this:

"Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers."

From the Prophet's (saws) last sermon.

Janet said...

Hi Safiya, Salaam Alaikoum :-) I have just started blogging (finding it quite addictive!) and wondered if I could put your blog in my blogroll? Our son (who joined our family through adoption) is partly from a Muslim/Mahgrebi background, and I try my best to learn about this side of his heritage so that I can try to answer his questions as he grows older. Shukran, Janet

Alina said...

Now I realize what you say about comment moderation is true. Many such blogs have had it enabled at a certain time.

Misogyny, racism and lack of tolerance, they always seem to find their way out only when the person feeling this way is safe: not needing to face consequences. So this fact adds cowardice to the bunch.

Great way to take a stand, Safiya!

Alina said...

Oh, and something I keep forgetting: your link to Mr. Outlines is stored like this: You should delete one of those slashes at the end, otherwise it returns an error :)

Safiya said...

Janet - Hi, thanks for visiting. I hope this blog is helpful to you, although religious heritage is very different from cultural heritage.

You may be doing this already, or planning too, but the best thing you can do to ensure he keeps in touch with his heritage, is to make sure he learns arabic and from as soon as possible. It is an integral part of Islam and of Arab culture and I can tell you that it's really not an easy language to learn as an adult.

There are facilities for teaching children arabic in this country, but they are often aimed at Muslim children.

I guess you have difficult decisions ahead into how you want to intregrate his culture. Not all Muslims are Arabs (in fact most aren't), but lots of Arabs are Muslims and the cultures are very closely linked, so it's hard to introduce one without the other.

Alina - I've fixed the link, thanks!

Yes, it sad about the proliferations of "isms" on the internet. Lots of people say things, they wouldn't say to someone's face - cowards!

Janet said...

Hi Safiya, Thank you, shukran. I found your blog last night and stayed up very late reading ALL of it! Anyway, what I'm trying to say - yes I think reading your thoughts/experiences will be very helpful :-) I realise that religious and cultural heritage are different things, but as you say they are so intertwined that it would be impossible to talk to him about one and not the other. I haven't (yet - still working on it) been able to find anywhere to teach our son Arabic, apart from the local mosque, and the only Arabic taught there is what is needed to read/recite the Quran. Our local Muslim community is Asian rather than Arabic, and culturally is very different. I have no objections to him exploring/reconnecting with his Islamic background (he would be considered a Muslim by other Muslims because of his parentage) when he is older. But for now he is living in a non Muslim household (agnostic and Buddhist!) so we don't feel qualified to raise him in his birth faith. We are trying our best to raise him to respect his religious heritage and to counter the negative media images of Islam that constantly bombard us these days. I want him to grow up to be proud of all the different parts of his background. Looking forward to reading and learning more. Best wishes Janet

Forsoothsayer said...

yeah but for every one of those quotes one can find many that are unpleasant...especially where it comes to the administration of justice. the polygamy really clinches it, for me. i've heard the arguments...but 4 is 4. still, i would agree that patriarchal bastards manage to get hold of whatever and use it for their own ends, which is why there has never been a Muslim country where women have enjoyed anything resembling rights and status.

Forsoothsayer said...

thanks for not freaking out btw.

Safiya said...

Janet - Wow, I can't believe you've read all my blog! I think I'm the only other person to have done that.

I think it's wonderful that you're so keen to help your son in this way. I noticed you've got Twice the Rice on your blogroll, so I'm sure you've done lots of reading of TRA's blogs too, which can probably give you far better advice then me.

One more thing, while Islam and culture can be closely linked in people's lives, lots of thing you might see Muslims do are purely cultural and have nothing to do with the religion itself.

Forsooth - After the insults I've had on here on LGF types, I'm not going to freak out over a politely stated opinion.

As for polygamy, it is meant to be a method of taking care of widows and orphans. Also, it is not actually reccomended, as most men will not be able to be just to their wives. To my knowledge, one of the worst punishments in the hereafter is reserved for a man
who is injust to their wives (they will be resurrected with half their body deformed).

With quotes, a lot of the problem is context, interpretation and their misuse in order to justify appalling behaviour.

I recently attended a brilliant lecture called "The Lost Female Scholars of Islam". Seriously, we're not talking about a few dozen scholars here, but thousands of women, several of whom were considered the foremost scholars of their contempories.

Not forgetting, one of the most famous scholars and teachers of Islam, Aisha (ra)

As for the "patriarchal bastards", they seem adept at twisting anything for their own ends, in any society, regardless of religion or ideology.

Gazell said...

The song Free by Sami Yusuf is essentially your blog in song. :)

Take care

Safiya said...

Salaam Gazell, thank you for your lovely comment.

Janet said...

lol - it took a while but it was worth it :-) Reading blogs of TRAs makes me realise how much I have to learn for my son's sake - he is totally precious and deserves the best parent I can be for him.

There are so many issues for me to try to learn about though - transracial parenting, adoptive parenting, healing parenting (from his early care), Islam and his Mahgrebi background.

I try my best but I don't think I can do it on my own - which is why I read all I can find about all the above. As well as just being mummy and playing brum cars or kicking a ball round the park.

Are there any sites you can recommend where I could learn more about Islam? Or that provide child related games/items to help my son learn about his religious background? I really do not mean to offend, but many sites I come across do not show Islam to be a peaceful religion - and that is not the side I want to be able to teach my son.

Shukran again

Safiya said...

Janet - Arrgh, What websites have you been looking at?
A good website is
They cover a lot of different topics and the "Discover Islam" section is especially good.

As for books, an excellent online store can be found here:

I guess the big decision you may have to face at some point is do you want to raise him as a Muslim or do you want to raise him knowing about Islam.

One more thing, and I apologise if this is stating the obvious but Muslims are a very varied bunch, so don't worry if some are not helpful, we're not all like that.

Finally, Islam is not just a peaceful religion it is a beautiful one and God Willing, as you and your son learn more about Islam, you will experience this.

Any questions you have, or help you need, please don't hesitate to to email me at

Janet said...

Shukran again Safiya. I can't remember the urls for the websites I've seen - and the majority were 'nice' just a noticeable few weren't :-( And from what I've read I agree Islam is a very beautiful religion - and THAT is what I want my son to grow up learning.

I'll check out those websites you suggested and probably email you too - its very kind of you to offer to help me :-)


MuslimMum said...

Assalamu alaikum,

I am quite new to blogging. I keep reading about all these problems that seem to occur between muslims in the blogging world. Admittedly I dont get much of a chance to read all that many other blogs, so i remain blissfully ignorant but it seems kinda scarey out there. I hope i never have to see this side.

Aaminah said...

Asalaamu alaikum Safiyah,

You know that I totally know where you are coming from in this post. :)

For Janet, if she is still reading, a friend of mine recently asked about an online resource for teaching her daughter Arabic and was recommended this site, which you may find useful.

And I would say that locally, even if he learns Qur'anic Arabic, it is a good start that has no downside. :)

One of the best ways to help give him a good view of his culture is to seek out people of that culture. It can be difficult to find someone local, but why shouldn't he be friendly with the Asian Muslims in your local area too? Perhaps through on-line interaction you can make some friends of the Maghrebi background, and as he gets older maybe he will at least have penpals or something that way. :)

As a child who was adopted away from her own culture, I cannot tell you enough how wonderful it is to see a mother who cares so deeply to ensure that she is helping to provide that connection. It is extremely important.

socrunchy said...

Thank you sister! I'm so sick of the comments I get as well. I doubt these ignorant people ever stop to consider the particular habits of their own society when they come to accuse Muslims. Patriarchy and misogyny exist in every culture, in every society, and every religion and if it isn't really there some people will just twist and dig trying to conjure up something to fit their liking.

Umm Salihah said...

Great post Sister Safiyah, you've said so eloguently the things so many of us think but don't have the adequate words to express.