Saturday, October 28, 2006

What Rape Is

And so another "learned man of Islam" opens his mouth and embarrasses us all.

The man in question is Sheikh al-Hilali of Australia and he has been giving us his views on rape being the fault of the women, complete with tasteful meat and cat metaphors.

Yet the "she was asking for it" mentality is surprisingly wide spread, across all sections of society.

I had a conversation once with a male acquaintance. He had heard about a girl being raped while on her way out on a Saturday night. He felt that since the girl was obviously looking for sex, she shouldn't feel too bad about the attack.

To which I replied "So how would you feel if that was your Mother? She obviously likes sex too, otherwise you wouldn't be here".

The silence was beautiful.

In such a debate, awash with various women-as-objects metaphors, something is always forgotten: What the act of rape actually entails.

Think what must occur during a rape, the physical brutality of unwanted sexual intercourse, the fear the victim feels, the violence inflicted on them, the total absence of mutual enjoyment.

Does anyone ever ask for that?


Muslim Apple said...

Excellent response. Rape is such a horrific crime and most of the people that say a woman was asking for it do not seem to have any real conception of the brutality of the crime or that it could happen to them or someone they care about.

Alina said...

This is close to the no always means yes mentality. No one, man or woman can ask for it and it can happen to both sides...Even if you are looking for sex, you are looking into enjoying it, consenting to it and that in no scenario matches what happens while being raped...
Yes, there are sadistics that like to play the raping game, but even here, there is mutual consent!

Ali la Loca said...

It is never the woman's fault.

No means no, even if the woman seems like she "really wants it" or she was dressed provocatively, or out looking for a date. It is shocking to me to realize that there are still so many people out there willing to make arguments against this, against a woman's right to decide the fate of her own body.

I like the response about the mother you gave that guy! I'll be he really didn't know what to do with himself right then.

El Matador said...

Some people still don't seem to have mastered the 'put your mind in gear before opening your mouth' maxim!

Bilal said...

good post!
rape is a major problem in South African society as well- I believe it is def linked to the current state of society!

& our 'leaders'? *sigh*

Hajar said...

Egad! The women always get blamed for 'enticing' the rapist... Christians do it too.

DA said...

You already know my thoughts on it. Such a man should NOT me anywhere near the minbar.

DA said...

Oh, by the way, kudos for invoking his mom. That was stone cold :-) (in a good way!)

Safiya said...

Salaam and thank you for your comments.

I did think that the comment about the mother was a bit "Stone cold", but it was the only way to make him rethink his attitudes.

The most disturbing outcome of the opinion that certain women are "deserving" to be attacked e.t.c
is when serial killers will be allowed to continue their work almost unhindered because they're not killing "nice girls".
Google "Yorkshire Ripper" for an example of this.

roora said...

Salam Safiya,

Actually I dont think that your comment about the mother was a bit "Stone cold. Because this could be the best way where you can make someone feel by others.

It reminds me by a story of a man who went to the prophet PBUH and asked for his permission to perform extra marital sex.

The prophet PBHU's answer was, (by what it means ) He asked him if he would accept it for his mother or his sisters or his daughters or his aunts. The man's answer was No, the prophet PBUH told him and so the other people wont accept for their sisters, mothers, daughters and aunts. The man clearly left convinced afterwards.

(Ni)mo.Ni said...

I can't believe he said that. Glad about your response, though, it was perfect!

It's the negative, close-minded sort of mentality that makes people want to distance themselves from the Muslim community.

Anonymous said...

I totally believe that this guy had it coming, I can not believe the people who blame rape vicitims if they are wearing tight outfits or out late.. they say she was like that hence the act is justifiable which totally sux and incrediably stupid.

zingtrial said...

Hi, Rape is a case all over the world.Good posting,maybe I should blog about this.I want the Hejaz to be safe for all women so they can walk without fear.Mohammed s.a.w. at Madina.Thanks for sharing.
Wish you well