Monday, July 31, 2006

Is there a special fruit you can eat to keep gynaecologists at bay?

In a previous post I mentioned that that people shouldn't dig for conversion stories. Yes, it is understandable that people are curious, but there is an appropriate time and place for such questions.

Just to clarify this point, I would like to state that the examination table in a Gynaecologist's office is never an appropriate place.

I'm sorry if I sound a bit precious, but at the gynaecologists! It's bad enough having to go there without being asked deep and meaningful questions at the same time.
The usual "Are you going away on holiday" patter would have sufficed.

Next time when they ask if I was born Muslim, I will be sorely tempted to say yes.

22 comments:

Alina said...

I guess that guy/girl was pretty curious and bored! :D Anyway, quite a funny situation to be asked such questions.

Baraka said...

Salaam,

!!!!

Goodness, some people have no sense of time or place!

Warmly,
B

El Matador said...

Can't say I've ever encountered that problem ;)

Maxxed`ouT said...

If i was a woman i'd try to find a hairdresser who's ALSO a gyno .
Hairdressers always have laid back casual convo topics .... let alone they're usually gay .

daktara said...

I would like to state that the examination table in a Gynaecologist's office is never an appropriate place.
mmmmmmmm

Asma bint Marwam said...

Seems to me you like attention..
aren't you supposed to dress "modestly" as a Muslimah?

Muslims in there traditional desert garb draw about as much attention (and outright PITY and FEAR) as nothing else.

So if you hate being asked what on earth got into you to convert to this "religion".
Then stop looking like you just stepped out of a 7th century desert.
And buy some decent looking western clothes and get a nice haircut.
Your problems are solved.

And don't delete this post because it's the truth.
And deep down inside behind all those layers of vitamin D prohibiting fabric you know i'm right.

LouLou said...

Doctors have no place asking that kind of question of their patients. It's completely unprofessional. I'm surprised.

Asma bint marwam,

"Muslims in there traditional desert garb draw about as much attention (and outright PITY and FEAR) as nothing else."

At some point in life we all grow up and realize that others don't dedicate their lives to our pleasure and that someone might conceivably wear something we might not like for whatever strange reason - like that have different taste and THEY might like it or that THEY feel comfortable in it and that our reaction to it might not be their first priority. I know it's tough learning that the world doesn't revolve around you no matter how important you feel you are.

Good luck.

Asma bint Marwan said...

Loulou we also grow up learning that if we don't want people asking difficult questions , or giving us unwanted attention,we shouldn't give them a reason.

Although i understand your thoughts.
The real world doesn't work this way.
If you look like a terrorist , smell like a terrorist, and dress like a terrorist. You are a terrorist.
And people are going to ask questions if not call the police.

I mean you can be open minded when you see a naked man with nothing but a trench coat staring at little kids playing at the playground.
But most people would go and call the police to check it out.

Just some examples of how the way we look and dress and present ourselves impacts the world and society in which we live.

I could now go and give a lecture on how dressing according to Islamic guidelines negatively impacts human interaction but i think you get the picture.

LouLou said...

I'm really sorry but I find it difficult to associate a woman choosing not to show their hair with terrorism or child abuse. If everyone with a different sense of style is as threatening to you as a terrorist or a pedophile then I have to feel sorry for you.

A lot of people with uncovered heads are terrorists or child abusers so I don't get your point there at all.

If the fact that she doesn't want you to see her hair upsets you that's your problem not hers. It's her hair not yours and she's under no obligation to dress it up the way you like.

As for difficult questions again she has a right to resent and refuse to answer any question she feels is intruding on her personal life - whether it's about religion or anything else.

Safiya said...

Asma bint Marwam - You've made a lot of assumptions about how I dress. Believe it or not there are such things as modest western dress, as well as abaya and I chose to wear both.

Also, no, I don't like attention and as I live somewhere with sizable and culturally diverse Muslim population,I rarely receive any, Alhamdulilah.

The main point of my post was that no matter how I choose to dress, I am entitled to a certain standard of medical treatment and I felt that her questions were both inappropriate and unprofessional.

As for Islam dress affecting interaction, from your examples it not the dress that's the problem, it is human biogtry. So your solution is if people don't like Muslims, don't look like one. What about people who are racist(as Islamophobes so often are), what are you meant to do then? Have plastic surgery?

Loulou - Thank you for your support and eloquence

Asma bint Marwan said...

Safiya it's obvious that people can tell you are Muslim thats why they ask you questions.
As you live in a culturally diverse neighbourhood with a lot of Muslims the gynecologist probably has seen lots of victims of FGM in her practice.

Or young Muslimah's that want to have there "virginity" restored so they bleed on there wedding night.

Which is why she probably has a desire to ask how one can convert to this way of life.

Also it's wrong for people to have the idea that showing once hair is not allowed.
It gives males a very skewed view of woman.Thinking they have to be "hidden" away in houses and be submissive to males, and if they do not, they are to be abused.

If you want to see how covering up and Islam in general messes with males, take a look at this video which shows a young Muslim couple.
Notice the way the male Muslim treats the girl.
http://www.zippyvideos.com/5007780385636506/1/

Safiya said...

Asma- You don't get it do you? As a health professional, the gynaecologist has no right to ask questions unrelated to diagnosis or treatment or to make personal judgements about my life.

Also, whatever personal views the gynaecologist may hold about Muslims, they should not influence on their treatment of patients.
To be treated as an individual is a right every patient has.

The vast majority of scholars believe that hijab is a fard and I follow this opinion. If you disagree, then that's your decision, but just as I would not criticise a woman for not wearing hijab, neither should you attack a woman for wearing it.

As for FGM and virginity restoration, both are cultural practices which are commonly found in Non-Muslims too.

As for the video, sadly spousal arguments and ill-treatment are something that can be found all over the world.

Asma bint Marwan said...

"Asma- You don't get it do you? As a health professional, the gynaecologist has no right to ask questions unrelated to diagnosis or treatment or to make personal judgements about my life."

How do you know she wasn't?
I know many woman who get blather infections because they aren't allowed to drink water during Ramadan.
It's just a example of how being a Muslim effects your health.
I have had doctors tell me repeatedly i should stop smoking , have regular exercise and eat healthy foods.
Thats probably why she inquired about your religion.
As she can tell by your hijab you are a Muslim.

"The vast majority of scholars believe that hijab is a fard and I follow this opinion. If you disagree, then that's your decision, but just as I would not criticise a woman for not wearing hijab, neither should you attack a woman for wearing it."

Can you tell me why those scholars believe it is "fard" as you call it?
Do you believe that anything that is deemed "fard" is beyond criticism?
Just because some unknown scholars (i suppose you mean people who study Islam) call it fard then you are just allowed to behave in that way?

Without concern of the effects it has on the wider community? Like the naked man with the trench coat looking at children?

"As for FGM and virginity restoration, both are cultural practices which are commonly found in Non-Muslims too."

Yes, and most non-Muslim countries forbid it's practice.
However Islam allows it and what is not explicitly made "haram" in Islam cannot be made haram by anyone.

"As for the video, sadly spousal arguments and ill-treatment are something that can be found all over the world."

I agree however again it depends on what one considers ill-treatment.
And what is allowed and not allowed.
According to Islam what the man does in the video is not wrong.
It is the proper way to treat once wife.
As she is not allowed to refuse the husband if he desires sex.
Nor is she allowed to argue with him but is to follow what he tells her, as long as it does not go against Islam.

Asma bint Marwan said...

Let me also tell you that many woman are not even allowed outside the house if they do not wear hijab.
People get forced to cover or they get problems with there parents and family.
This hugely impacts the lives of millions of woman.

It's why for example in schools in France the hijab has been banned and many countries are slowly starting to implement the same measures.
Because they see how woman are abused because of it.

Asma bint Marwan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Asma bint Marwan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Safiya said...

Asma-

Hijab as fard see this link here:
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=3&ID=4834&CATE=368

These are not unknown scholars, this is the consensus of the vast majority of scholars, both male and female.

As for thinking of others, I know many, many muhajab and even niquabi sisters all of whom are happy to wear it.

To say I should feel guilty for wearing hijab, as some women are treated badly over it is like saying all car drivers should feel guilty because some people drive dangerously.

This is a link to an Islamic conference which called for an end to FGM:
http://islamonline.net/English/News/2005-11/23/article05.shtml

Sister, the seeking of knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim, male and female. I suggest you spend more time studying Islam properly and less time posting comments on a blog.

May Allah guide you and protect you always.

Asma bint Marwan said...

"To say I should feel guilty for wearing hijab, as some women are treated badly over it is like saying all car drivers should feel guilty because some people drive dangerously."

Well that says it all doesn't it?
Drivers are required to take a exam before they are allowed on the road, if there driving is deemed dangerous they are taken off the road.
Perhaps you could start learning to drive safely and spare other people the accidents you cause.

Random Guy said...

Safiya, there's no point debating with this moron. lol "Asma bint Marwam" is not even his real name, let alone a muslim. its unfortunate that people like these have noting better to do with there lives, who go on the internet reading crap, then go on all sort of blogs looking for a "debate".

just letting you know

Asma bint Marwan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Random Guy said...

asma bint dude,

seems like i made you angry that you have to make cheap insults. speaking of balls look like you're missing a pair, after all you do like using a female Pseudonym, oh is that a pic of you dressed up as a women lol. you're nothing but a coward who takes pleasure in sitting behind a computer screen insulting people and their way of life, because your life pratically sucks.

run along now, grab some nuts on the way out, i heard the salty ones are good :)

Hajar said...

I have worn shorts and tank tops in the past, and I wear hijab now. I was treated worse by men before I started covering than I have after.

I agree, it is none of the gynecologists business. Nor is it the business of anyone else we meet through work or a community service to be asking rude and inappropriate questions.
If someone has the right to wear a miniskirt and let everything hang out, and not be questioned about it, I have the right to do exactly the opposite, and show nothing. And expect the same courtesy. People who show skin get skin cancer...

One day a lady told me she read an article about how Muslim women are deficient in vitamin D because they cover their skin. I told her, "Oh yeah? well my grandmother has skin cancer because she exposed her skin to the sun!"
That silenced her.